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How this Book WorksThis digital book is not like anybook you have experienced up tothis point, which is why it comeswith instructions.I encourage you to be apart ofthe conversation and share yourideas by commenting when theopportunity arises and giving yourfeedback about your experiences.This is more than a book, it is adiscussion.You will encounter video, audio,and visual features to expandon ideas and go deeper into thetopics you are interested in. Youwill be able to download PDFworksheets to help you gure outhow to use the ideas you discoverfor your life, career, and business.
It is my hope you nd the solutionsyou are looking for to create andappealing life, career, or business.Don’t Miss Out - Get Notied about New Topics

You are able to view this book without buying it, however if you want access to all the content, you need to invest a one time payment of $49, which includes:Access to book contentAccess to community groupAccess to events and moreThe Women are links to go deeper into the storyThis icon takes you to the contents / index for the bookTap install on the upper right corner to access this book easily on your device / desktopWelcome to the APeeling Experience

You are standing at the beginning ofa journey. Where you end up in theend is up to you.It won’t always feel like it. There willbe times when you feel you have nochoices, where things happen to youinstead because of you.In these moments you will learn whoyou are and what you are capable of.When you come up against adversi-ty. When things don’t go your way.When life seems to be against you.Remember, you have a purposewaiting for you on the other side.Each day you wake up you makedecisions and those decisions lead tomore decisions, which lead to moredecisions. With every decision, youare steering your journey towards oneport or another and which port youend up in is determined by those de-cisions you made ten years prior plusevery decision made along the way.Today, you have a choice. You havea dream. You have hopes. You havethe opportunity to decide which portyour life will visit in ten years’ time.You can choose to drift and let thecurrent take you where it wants youto go or you can set your sights on aport far off in the distance and charta course for it.Along the way, you will have toght the current, you will encounterstorms, and you will lose some car-go along the way.It isn’t as easy as letting the currentdecide your fate, but in ten years,you will make your way into that portand reap its benets. Whereas thosewho are still oundering in the currentswill continue to have no destination.

If you want to sail into a port, you must know which port you want. Take the moment, right now, to write your dream. Dig deep down into your creative soul and nd the words to describe the life you want to live. Imagine a day, the perfect of days, and write each detail so that you can almost touch it with your ngers. Close your eyes, see it. Breathe deep, smell it. Listen closely, hear it. Move your tongue, taste it. Now write each word without thought and without edits. Allow the day to ow through you onto the paper. Where do you want to be in 10 years? What do you want to do in 10 years? Whom do you want to be doing it with? Why do you want to be there in 10 years?How does it feel to be there in 10 years?It is your life. Not your parents. Not your siblings. Not your friends. No one can live your life but you. No one will be responsible for where you are in ten years, except for you. You pilot your life. You steer the ship. You decide on the port. It is your decision to listen to those who tell you how to live. It is your decision to follow your friends on their adventures or head out on your own adventure. It is your decision to compete with or compare yourself to your siblings. No one else. Whether you choose to allow others to steer or the currents to take you is your choice, no one else’s.

You are in control of where your journey takes you. So...

Welcome to your journey!

a

Publisher: MarketAPeelEditor: Shannon PeelISBN:©2023 MarketAPeelHow to go Beyond Trauma for a Better Lifee copyrights of the presentations is retained by each presenter who spoke at the BeyondTrauma Event in 2023. e copyrights of the How to go Beyond Trauma for a Better LifeDigital book is held by MarketAPeel.All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced into any information retrievalsystems without the written permission of MarketAPeel. e publisher is not responsible inwhole or part for any errors or omissions in this publication. All opinions and views arethose of the presenters. e opinions and views expressed by Shannon Peel as writer andeditor are hers and do not reect upon those of the presenters. Face your fear and learn to be alone.Divorce scared me because I’d be on my own.Not seeing my kids every day was unthinkable.I was scared I had no value without a career.
I was scared of being poor.I was scared of not being able to support myself.I was terried I’d be a bad mom.I feared being seen as a failure.Well, life made me face all of these thingsin short order and I’m still breathing.-Shannon Peel

The best stories are the ones wherethe reader has a vested interestedin seeing where the story goes be-cause he hopes it will end the wayhe wants it to. Life doesn’t always gothe way we hoped it would.Hope is Never Alone.Personally, I don’t like hope becauseit comes with two distinct brothers;satisfaction and disappointment. Dis-appointment being the extroverted inyour face brother and satisfaction be-ing the brother who lives on the otherside of the country and who mightvisit on holidays, if you’re lucky.Hope is Valuable.Thousands of people buy lottery tick-ets hoping they will win the jackpot.They aren’t buying an item or eventhe jackpot. What they are buying ishope and the chance to dream of adifferent life for a few days. Hope isa valuable commodity corporationsand con artists use to get people topart with their money. A promise thatsatisfaction will visit soon.Hope is a Daily Visitor.We hope for love, wealth, success,happiness, and fulllment of dreamsevery day. Even though we know thatwe will be visited by disappointmentmore often than satisfaction. We can’thelp it, hope is too strong to ignore.Can I just Stop Hoping?Hope is a four letter word that bringsmore unhappiness and frustrationthan it does joy, however, a life with-out hope is dismal and depressing.Hope brings a will to ght, a promiseof better things, it moves your per-sonal story forward.Without hope, life is stagnant, dark,and pointless - kinda like my love life- so hold onto hope and move yourstory forward.Can I Stop Hoping?

Emotional and psychological trau-ma is the result of extraordinarily frightening or distressful events that shatter your sense of security or make you feel helpless and can lead to challenges in functioning or normally coping afterward. In these cases, those memories repeatedly replay, and a traumatized person will have trouble controlling them. The side effects can include anxiety, feeling numb, disconnected, and severe trust issues towards other people. Traumatic events are not always personal physical experienc-es. Any experience that causes you to feel intense negative emotions, can be traumatic – such as witness-ing, watching, or hearing something. Deciding whether something is trau-matic or not is not based on each person’s subjective emotional reac-tion to the event. The depth of trau-ma relates to the intensity of nega-tive emotions felt about the experience. In other words, the same experience could have different effects on different people.Excerpt from Sunshineclinic.org - click the women to read full article

Shannon Peel is the creative force behind the MarketAPeel Brand. She works from her home ofce overlooking life in Downtown Vancouver, BC Canada. She is passionate about stories and how to they connect people and exploring why people make the choices they make. People describe her as intelligent, quick witted, and creative, all things she takes pride in as she values intelligent thought and solution based productivity. MarketAPeel reects her values and vision.

I’d just launch the new afliate pro-gram, my SEO was coming back af-ter a brief fall down, and I was hope-ful about the future...Then just like that ... I wanted to quiteverything and when I say every-thing I mean everything. I was tiredof struggling, getting nowhere, andthings not working out. Due to hav-ing depression and anxiety with abrain that tells me suicide is the away out... I am very cognisant ofmy emotional reactions and state ofmind.If I allowed my mind and emotionsto go down the rabbit hole to thebig long sleep, I’d be leaving myparents and kids in a tough spotand I don’t want to do that, so ... Ihad to make the choice to pull upmy socks, put on those big girl pant-ies, and do what I do to move to-wards a place of strength.Some days are harder than othersbecause at times my mind will tellme they don’t care and will be hap-pier without me in the world. Yes,my brain can lie to me and nd falseevidence to back up its lies... It’s nota mild or situational problem.Either I let depression control me orI control it - Today, I got back intothe drivers seat.In my tool box are stories with theright narrative and the proof to off-set these lies and bring me back intoreality. Now, I help women rewritetheir narrative and use story to un-derstand themselves, the villains intheir way, and how to use weapons to  slay their dragon and win the prize.Depression does not stop me from pullingmyself into the next moment, to keep living.What You Tell Yourself

Stay Strong when You Feel WeakEntrepreneurs and those of us whoare self employed, we tend to beoverwhelmed and over worked withlittle to show for it at the end of theday sometimes because we can’t seethe progress we’ve made. We workon our little treadmills and thinkwe’re getting ahead - Then, we seesomeone who makes it look so easyand we begin to wonder what iswrong with us?You aren’t aloneWe all have weak moments and weakdays. We all feel doubt, fear, andfatigue due to not getting what weneed or want from others. At timeswe can feel alone in a hostile worldthat doesn’t care if we live or die.It’s at these times when we must digdeeper than ever before and nd thestrength to take one more step.First, you need to stop feeling likeyou are on the edge of tears so,either cry until you fall asleep andhave a nap or watch a comedy.For some people a walk helps putthem in a better mood or cleaningthe house. -- Yeah no, not for me -no way - no how. Those two thingsleave my mind in a place where itcan wonder down those rabbit holesthat convince me that my only wayout is a long never ending sleep. Ineed to occupy my mind and givemy emotions time to regulate backto neutral.Some people feel the need to callsomeone and vent, complain, andtalk it out. If you have a friend, coach,or counsellor who is really good atlistening and sitting with you in em-pathy to help you process your emo-tions - CALL THEM NOW... and thankthem for being in your life.For me, this hasn’t worked out sowell and I only have me, myself, andmy writing to help me process whatI’m feeling and howto move forward.NO, that doesn’t meanI don’t have people inmy life. It means thatthe people I have in

The APeeling Series helps you create an appealing life, career, business by bringing you ideas, inspiration, and insights to help solve the problems getting in your way of success. Discover More Titles at BookAPeel

Rich has worked with top speakers, leaders, and authors like Denis Waitley, Sandra Dee Robinson, Chris Westfall, Jeffrey Hayzlett, and Deanna Singh.Rich’s passion comes from his 30 years as a professional broadcaster, keynote speaker, and Pastor. Rich provides group and 1-on-1 transformational coaching with practical tools, evaluations, and action steps that radically transform your condence, clarity, and communication skills.

What is your professional role? I equip and coach leaders to hone their media skills to stand out from the crowd as a Go-To Expert. I do this through media coaching. I do this by emceeing, hosting, and creating live media that amplify you and your brand authority.I do this by creating media content and events that drive potential clients to you while raising your brand identityWhat is your top personal value?PassionI have a driving passion for helping and serving fellow leaders to shine brighter and stand out from the crowd and social media noise. Part of my passion is to make sure my clients and collaborative partners have fun while leveraging media to its full potentialOn many events that I collaborate on, the client has an idea to create a media event. While their idea is good, often they realize this is hard work, they are not equipped or skilled enough, and they want to give up or settle for less.My passion, 36 years of media, and creativity often help those that I work with regain their passion and work with me to produce an exciting event. My passion often carries them, and then they want to do another event.What do you do when you aren’t working?I enjoy unplugging and exploring the great outdoors. Hiking, camping, visiting, and exploring other cities and places.Interviewing the Interviewer

Your Spotlight VideoYour Audience Awaits“I believe that you can create your own MEDIA EMPIRE to grow your BRAND AUTHORITY. I work with and coach individuals and companies small and large to learn media-savvy skills to help you create your own media empire that amplies and elevates you with your industry and beyond.- Rich “Trigger” BontragerYou have a story to tell about who you are and why people need to pay attention to you, but you struggle to make an imoression. Sit down with Rich “the Trigger” Bontrager to craft a promotional interview that will elevate your brand and showcase why you are the person for the job.

Margaret Dennis is a Women’s Life Empowerment & Grief Coach, TEDx Speaker, Educator, Writer, and Certied Dare2Declare© Vision Board Facilitator. In 2008, Margaret’s love of human connection was shaken by the loss of her son, twin brother to her daughter Lily, when he was just 3 days old. Rocked to her core, she immersed herself in her event management business and the custom trim company she co-owned. After a complete emotional breakdown, she realized that women can’t just make grief go away the way society expects them to. In 2020 she founded EVOLV coaching to help women around the world honour their lives, emotions, and businesses while gracefully handling everything life throws at them. She was determined to help her clients nd JOY again.

I grew up outside of Enderby, BC Canada. My family life was the stuff of 1950s/60s TV shows. I grew up in a bubble where people had jobs, parents stayed married, grandpar-ents lived close, and we never felt we did without. My parents worked hard to give us the perfect middle class life in a rural area where most kids didn’t have much. We lived outside, played sports, and went to church. Practicality, scal responsibil-ity, hard work were the values both my parents modelled.What 5 things do you need to heal?1. Find support in the form of a professional counsellor or psychol-ogist who is willing to listen to you. I found a therapist who was a good listener and provided me with feed-back about who she saw in the chair across from her. For decades, I’d heard how I didn’t measure up from those who professed to love me, I believed them. Having a therapist who saw me as strong, intelligent, ca-pable, and talented calmed the emo-tional storm within me and gave me the condence to believe in myself.2. Understand people have different abilities, skills, strengths, and needs. Accept them for who they are and don’t expect them to show up how you want them to show up. My best friend through school and life was always the one needing my help. When my life fell apart and I was emotionally suffering, her dismissive comments, harsh tone, and inability to show up was causing me emo-tional pain. I loved her, I still do, but I still had to step away to heal. She didn’t have the skills to be there for me in the way I needed her to be. I needed to stop calling her when I was in pain and needed a listening ear. When she called, I kept the con-5 Things you Need to Heal

versation to 15 minutes. If she want-ed to do something or needed help, I would politely tell her I was busy. She soon disappeared from my life. I don’t fault her or think badly of her. Unfortunately, my situation meant we couldn’t be friends at that time. By understanding her, I was able to remove the emotion from the situa-tion and continue to love her.3. Don’t create drama. Family and friends would push me to get my life in order right away. They wanted me to ght and pressured me to stand up to my ex to get him to pay full child support, sell the house, and give me my share. They wanted it to happen right away. The thing was, I knew my ex wouldn’t show up and the kids had little desire to live with him, so as I long as I didn’t rock the boat by asking for money at that time, his actions would work in my favor. His not showing up resulted in forfeiting any chance of a 50/50 custody outcome and I still ended up with the child support in the end because it came out of the money from the sale of the house. There are times when you should cut your loss-es. Sometimes the answer is to wait and see. Other times, you need to ght for what you are owed. Know-ing which strategy to take makes all the difference.4. Don’t try to solve all your prob-lems at once. I had so many prob-lems and things that needed to get solved, it would have been easy to become overwhelmed. Both my parents are doers who get ‘er done. During one call when my mom was asking me if I’d done A. B. C. D… and so on, I had to tell her to stop because I was becoming sick with the overwhelming stress. I took a breath and told her, “Mom, I have a plate and on this plate is enough room for a balanced meal of meat, potatoes, and veggies. It can’t han-dle the Chinese smorgasbord right now. On my plate I have looking for a job, taking care of the kids, and taking care of the house. Everything else is waiting in the buffet to be replaced when I’ve nished one of the items.

What Trauma do I have Quiz

"Anxiety floods me as I sit and write.It's not the writing but the solitary feeling of loneliness that eats away atmy soul. It gripped me in its clutches,feeling like ants crawling under my skin with nowhere to go."As a teen, my son suered from pan-ic attacks. It pained me to watch him ashe struggled with panic and unfoundedfears. I hate that he was aicted with thiscondition.As he’d pace back n forth, vibrating withpent up energy and his mind runningcircles at over 95 miles a minute - I’d askhim, “What colour is the couch? Whatcolour is your shirt? Slowly he reconnect-ed with reality and began to calm downenough to have a conversation aboutwhat his brain was telling him. Studies show children and teens are be-ing aected by, stress, lack of sleep, diet,drugs, pressure, too much stimuli... Youname it, it causes anxiety. No matter thereason it is not something a young per-son should be burdened with.Young people who suer from this aic-tion fear the stigma of the remedies, theside eects of the medications, and forsome being alone to relax is when anxi-ety hits hardest.Anxiety doesn’t make sense. It’s an ir-rational fear that makes a person antsy,unable to concentrate, unable to sit still.It is our natural ght or ight reex inoverdrive.If you know someone who suers fromanxiety don’t try to x it. Don’t dismisstheir irrationality. Try to understand andjust be there for them. It’s all we can do.
Today, he is able to manage his own anxiety and fearlessly takes on the world. 

Get full access to download the workbooks,read all the articles, watch the replay videos, connect in the community, and more...It’s MarketAPeel - there is always MORE!

Deb Porter is on a mission to “Mr Rogers” the world through teaching & practicing condential, compassionate listening. To that end, she created HOLD Hearing Out Life Drama. HOLD is a condential listening service offering help to individuals seeking a safe space to unload, as well as businesses seeking a solution to absenteeism, disengagement or excessive turnover. When family friends or co-workers are too close to the problem, or worse ARE the problem, HOLD listeners help. She makes sure that her team of listeners lightens your load.

A corrective emotional experience is when you take an experience that went HORRIBLY wrong, and essen-tially, give yourself a do over. You have a new experience to override the brain pathway that says “THIS IS A BAD IDEA”. And you show it that it can be safe and perhaps even en-joyable.In order to do this, you want to get really clear ahead of time about how you wished the original experience had gone, and what you wanted to have happen. For example, I had an experience when I was young of my dad ipping out about having sand in the car after I played at the park. As a result, I had a strong aversion to sand. I wanted to change that so my kids would experience sand positively. I talked about the orig-inal experience with my therapist. Then, the circle of trust expanded to a couple of close friends that I trust-ed immensely. They agreed to be a part of my healing. They bought me sand toys. I put them where I could see them often. Then days later, we went to Lake Tahoe and I played, and we were all rather sandy when we got in the car to go home! The laughter and fun that we had helped to create a new neural pathway. My brain now knows it is safe and fun to play in sand.The result? I now enjoy a sandy beach, and so do my kids. It is not something I fear, but something delightful. Often our trauma stops us from experiencing our lives fully. You can change this by identifying and then creating your own correc-tive emotional experiences. Getting comfortable with the improvements in life!Learning to be happyWhen something - good or bad - is in our lives for a long time, we get used to it. It becomes our normal, and anything else feels - weird. May-be even wrong. This is true with trauma, as well. Af-ter years of living with it, it is what we know.

Then, we decide to do the hard work. We start to release that trauma and take steps to move on.And - it can feel scary. There’s the sensation of waiting for the other shoe to drop. So how do you get to a point where happy feels okay? It’s a process. The process started for me by being angry that it was a process! Eventually, I was able to notice when things were ne and I was still on edge. I can’t tell you how often my therapist asked me, after I said something bad might happen, “But what if it doesn’t?” It’s baby steps. “I experienced that and it’s okay” and then moving on to the next experience. Normal doesn’t change instantly. It takes time before something feels normal.Those new neural pathways can’t form over-night. You begin to have experiences that are safe and tolerable. Next you allow yourself to repeat them through prac-tice. A shift happens and you can start to feel peace, calm, and happi-ness. The new pathways in the brain form and expand to an enriched life, full of deeper experiences.It can be done. Happy is within your reach. It can be your normal. Keep going.Seeking the right connections to help you move beyondHealing from trauma doesn’t happen alone. You can, of course, function without healing. But not optimally. Not all connections will help. It’s important to create the space you need to do the work and you get to decide who you let in. Avoid connections that will be harmful. If someone doesn’t listen or under-stand you, don’t put life energy there, and if you must, limit it as much as possible. People you can trust - those are the ones you want to surround yourself with.I believe that a trained therapist is needed to heal trauma. A therapist

can carefully and skillfully help you accept, grieve, integrate and guide you through the complex process of trauma. There are many well written articles on how to choose a thera-pist. Additionally, nd people who are supportive of your healing journey. I vividly remember saying to my fam-ily, “I can keep going and I believe it will get better, but if I do this, it’s probably going to be hard to live with me for a while. Is that some-thing you are willing to endure?” I think I wanted them to say “no!” But they did not. And so, I contin-ued to do the work that was friggin’ hard. On days when all I could do was cry and take a nap, we got take out. My kids let me be, and were not distressed by my behavior be-cause they knew I was seeing a ther-apist, and it wasn’t their job to help me. They were able to tolerate the situation, believing that it would get better, and they held that hope with me. And it did. It can for you, too.

Utilizing 27 years of professional public classroom teaching, a love of technology, and a passion for helping her students achieve their highest potential she has been a program lead, staff trainer, event organizer, emergency planner, eld trip survivor/thriver, and has become a knowledgeable and valuable resource for innovating education solutions.Combining her love of education with a lifetime of entrepreneurship experience and self-development, she co-founded Vibrant Family Education with her husband to help bring a much needed unique perspective into reimagining the education system.

I pull into the driveway and park the van. My head is throbbing with the beginnings of a headache. I lean back on the seat’s headrest and close my eyes. Just for a minute. Only a minute.Bang“Moooom.”My eyes shoot open, an electric shock jolts me and my heart pounds in my chest. I feel a wave of blood moving through my body. I’m get-ting light headed and dizzy. What the? I turn and my son’s face is look-ing at me through the driver’s side window. I put my hand to my chest breath deep and push the button to open the window, nothing happens. Right. I turn the key in the ignition and put the window down.“Aiden. You scared me. What?”“Aren’t you coming in? You’ve been out here for almost an hour.”An hour? I look at the time on the dash. It’s been almost an hour since I parked. The groceries! I panic. Meat, frozen pizzas, milk, cheese. I ick the switch unlocking all the locks on the van and the back door rises up.“Grab some groceries and take them into the house. Where are your sisters?”“Awwwwe do I have to?”“Yes. Your sisters?”“I don’t know. Inside.”I grab a few bags and yell for my three daughters to unload the van and put the groceries away because Date Night CountdownA chapter from “That’s Life” Novel

I’m running late. They whine while doing it. - I don’t care.“Well if you hadn’t fallen asleep -” Aiden starts and I just glare at him daring him to continue. The boy’s not dumb, I’ll give him that.I have to get ready, Gus will be home soon.I run upstairs to jump in the shower, shave, wash my hair, the whole nine yards. I have less than an hour to look gorgeous. Not an easy feat at 40. After 22 years, four kids and an extra 100 lbs I am not the slim beau-tiful 18-year-old girl my husband married. I know Gus still loves me. He says my curves and stretch marks make me that much more real and attractive to him. More cushin for the pushin he teases me and I try to be-lieve him, I do.My husband doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him, thanks to good genes and a physical labour job as a con-tractor, he even still has most of his hair. I see the women lingering around him, irting with their eyes, trying to get my husband’s attention. He claims never to notice because he only has eyes for me. Ha. I just bet he didn’t notice when Melissa Rempkin walked right into him at church and then looked up with pup-py dog eyes.“Ooops sorry Gus. You sure are a solid one aren’t you?”I could have ripped her eyes out and I would have too if the pastor hadn’t walked by at that very moment. I mean, I can’t have him thinking I’m a jealous, violent, irrational, woman, now can I?I get out of the shower, look at my naked body in the mirror and cringe. I’m plump. Round. No, not rounded, round. My waist is larger than my hips and my hips are round. Remem-ber in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie, when the girl eats the gum and becomes a big fat round

blueberry and needs to be rolled out by the umpa loompas. No, not the Johnny Depp one, the original one, the one made before, before I was born. The one with, what was his name? It’s been so long since I saw it. Gene Something… Simmons? Hackman? Oh I don’t know.“Moooooom.” My son’s voice com-ing through the door.“Whaaat?”“You forgot the Nacho cheese dip. How are we supposed to have a movie night without the nacho cheese dip?”“I don’t know. You have to make do. Now leave me alone or give me your game system.”I start getting dressed. Nothing ts the way I want and I hate how I look. After trying on four dresses and a pantsuit I settle on a black sac of a dress. It might as well be a tent. My hair at least is cooperating. I wished I’d had time to go to the hairdress-ers this afternoon and get it done up really nice, but with driving the kids around, the groceries, getting the house cleaned up, laundry, the list is endless.There that should do it.I dig in the bathroom closet for my make up box. I hardly ever wear any, there is little to no point. I rarely go out and when I do, no one cares what I look like. Lack of daily prac-tice is making a mess of things and I feel like a clown. Too much eye shadow and the lipstick is too bright.“Mom. Aiden is being a little shit, you have to get him under control.”“Language Alexis, watch your lan-guage.”I turn to see my eldest daughter looking gorgeous and dressed to the nines in a blue patterned skirt with a matching blouse and her hair cas-

cading over her shoulders. She’s 19 and looks a lot like I did when I mar-ried Gus. I look at my slim daughter with her indented waist and perky breasts and sigh. Just wait I think, twenty years and you’ll look like me.“And where do you think your going tonight?” I ask.“Out with Cameron.”“Which one is Cameron?”“The blonde with the pick up truck. You know he goes to the University, he’s studying to be a lawyer one day.”“Oh right him. What happened to the one whose an electrician or something? I like him.”“Dan? I’m seeing him tomorrow and before you ask I went out with Rich-ard last night.”“How do you keep them all straight? I can’t even imagine dating more than one man. You’re not sleep-ing with any of them? Don’t or else they’ll think you’re a whore and no man has ever fallen in love with a whore. You really should just pick one or else people will think you’re a slut or something.”She has heard me say these things a hundred times already and I can see from the glaze over her eyes that she isn’t listening. Why do I bother? I just want her to be happy. Not like her aunt Charlene or worse Char-lene’s new friend Lindsay. I wouldn’t worry so much if she’d just nd a nice boy. A boy who is like Gus and would take care of her, protect her. It’s a dangerous world for girls. It just is.“Mom. Enough. Aiden. That little spoiled shit you call a favourite.”

“I do not.”She rolls her eyes. I hate it when she rolls her eyes.“Everyone knows he’s your precious little boy and that he’s an entitled pain in the ass who at this very mo-ment is trying to make nacho cheese sauce in your kitchen with your fa-vourite pot. Thought you might want to know.”With that she turns on her heel and walks out the door.Trying to make nacho cheese sauce? Oh no, what does that mean?I hurry downstairs and there is my son with cheese all over the counter and a pot of burning cheese on the stove.“Oh Aiden.”“I wanted Nacho Cheese sauce. Gerry likes Nacho Cheese sauce and I told him there would be some.”I grab the pot off the red-hot stove element. Right then, the smoke de-tector goes off and Gus walks into the kitchen.“Ready to go on our date honey?”What hurtful things did your parents say to you growing up? Have you caught yourself saying similar things due to stress, fear, or fatigue?

The story of 5 women navigating life in the 21st Century. It is more than a novel, it is lled with questions and tools to help you change your narrative from victim to hero and change your life. The women’s stories show us how we cause our own barriers to success as we try to protect ourselves and deal with the pressures of every day life. Discover your own narrative, values, and outlook on life as you experience their story and reect on your own.

Shame. Now there is a loaded word that no one wants to talk about.Prisoners of ShameOur shame starts at a young age and is carried with us throughout our lives. We are judged from birth. Did Sally crawl before Sarah? Did Joey walk at the right age? Why won’t Sal-ly talk? Milestones were established to ensure babies were healthy and progressing. Parents made a com-petition of these milestones, feeling shame for the children who didn’t make the grade and having unjusti-ed pride in those who excelled.We are shamed into good behaviour by our parents, siblings, peers, friends, boy/girlfriends, teachers, employers, partners, and children. We feel guilt and remorse. We have regrets and hate ourselves for the decisions we’ve made, even if those decision were not mistakes.Women shame each other more than men shame us. We shame men for being men. We shame women for the attention they get from men. We shame out of jealousy and fear.We want to be right as mothers. We want to know that the decisions we are making for our children are the right ones, so, we shame those who do it differently, to justify our choic-es. “I breastfeed” says one mother, “I work” says another, and ‘the bat-tle of the perfect mother’ is on.Shaming tactics we learned in high school are taken with us into adult-hood. We talk about teenagers cy-ber-bullying, shaming others into suicide, and mean girls. Yet adults are worse. We post our opinions on Facebook or on blogs. Shame on Us for Shaming

We reward bullies in the corporate world, we shame the bullied, and we sit in judgement. We shame others hoping to deect attention away from us, make us look better, and move up the corporate ladder.Getting drunk at the Christmas Par-ty, making a mistake, talking too much about one’s personal life, a work romance goes bad. All these can cause shame and ruin our ca-reers within a company, an industry, or our lives. Monica Lewinsky’s ofce romance changed the course of her life making employment impossible because of her public shame.Shaming our DaughtersWe want our daughters to behave properly because we fear society’s judgements upon them, so we use shame, even if they’ve never done a shameful thing. We don’t mean to. We do it instinctively because it’s what we’ve learned works. To keep them safe, we make their bod-ies, sex, and bad choices shameful things. We say things without think-ing and even if we apologize, the damage has already been done.What shameful messages have you given your daughter trying to keep her on the straight and narrow? Have you told her she’s gonna get fat eating certain foods? What about how she looks in certain clothes? Have you told her that girls who have sex are sluts, whores or worse, unloveable? Have you labelled her peers and verbally judged them in front of her?What if in her life she gains some weight, makes the choice to have sex with a boyfriend, dresses in something a little shorter? If she has heard from you that shameful women are the ones behaving cer-tain ways, how is she going to feel afterwards about herself? Does her making these choices make her un-loveable in your eyes? Then why tell her that they might?How do you use shame in your life?How are you motivated by shame?How do you judge others?

Lesley James is a certied End of Life Educator and helps people over age 50 create a personalized end of life plan, well in advance, so that they will have peace of mind knowing they have protected their loved ones by easing the emotional and nancial burdens.Her core values are love, wisdom and comfort which I bring with me as she helps you “Take the Stress out of End of Life Planning”.Death is not a medical event; it’s a life event.We plan for everything we do, except for the inevitable.

Did you know 57 of Canadians don t have a will If you die intestate the government steps in and no one can do anything until they give the green light and who will ensure your cell phone is canceled and you will probably end up giving the government way too much To give you an idea of what happens According to a 2015 Rocket Lawyer when you die without a will let s survey 64 of Americans don t have take a look at some famous people a will Not surprisingly the number is who did just that and the mess it left higher for younger Americans 70 behind those aged 45 54 than for older Americans 54 those aged 55 64 When the artist formally known as do not have a Will Prince died in 2016 people suddenly came out of the woodwork with a A will appoints someone to tie up handout Numerous cousins and a all the loose ends your dying leaves few supposed wives made a claim behind You know things like the to the artist s vast estate which conlast tax return shutting off the gas sisted of intellectual property rights and packing up your stuff Your will unreleased music fine art memoratells the executor who gets what and bilia eight vehicles 67 gold bars and what needs to be done to ensure more The judge called Prince s estate everything you left behind is taken personal and corporate mayhem care of When Steve McNair was killed by If you die without a will you are con his mistress his mother paid the sidered intestate This means that price He d bought her a home but you don t get a say in who gets what kept it in his name so the house was

lumped in with the full estate which the court split between his wife Michelle McNair and his 4 children Michelle charged his mom rent which she couldn t afford and had to move out of the home her son had purchased for her When Howard Hughs died his vast fortune was shared by the Howard Hugh s Medical Institute and distant relatives he barely knew something he may not have wanted After 34 years the courts named 200 of Hughes distant relatives among the reportedly thousand some heirs Without the right financial and tax planning in place his estate also had to pay 169 Million to the government in taxes Amy Winehouse died with no will Eventually her parents received the bulk of her estate to set up the Amy Winehouse Foundation for young struggling artists Though her ex husband had no legal right to the estate 8 years after her death he filed a claim of 1 6 million dollars which he didn t get Still the claim costs time money and caused stress for the family When Chadwich Bosman better known as the King of Wakanda in the Marvel Universe died of stage 3 Cancer his widow was forced to apply to the courts to get control of their finances and estate When you die without a will your assets are Before the estate of Howard Hughes frozen by the courts until an adminiswas declared intestate over 40 trator is appointed handwritten forgery wills were submitted to the court and rejected Speaking of the Marvel Universe One was given to the Mormon it s creator Stan Lee died intestate Church bequeathing money to peo though some tried to get his wealth ple who didn t have any connection and IP by having him sign to him This will was also deemed papers when he was a forgery after investigation All of beyond sound mind which cost the courts money In the end his

Freedom and Power are her aliases! LaToya Zavala, survivor-turned-thrivor of abuse and domestic violence, has been actively transforming lives for 20 years, in the U.S., Mexico, Kazakhstan and Japan, formerly in the Navy and now serving the global community. This Spiritual Inner Power Coach and Motivational Speaker helps conscientious women leaders release blocks and triggers from toxic connections and collective conscious suppression, reaching the next level of knowing, loving, trusting, believing in and being their truest and authentic SELVES so that they can act in courage, condence, power.https://payhip.com/b/HngNU

Does the Job Search Process Cause PTSD When my planned project for May and June pulled the plug before I started I suddenly felt the need to find a J O B to pay the bills I was open to doing anything even working as a barista down the street after all a girl has to eat I opened up the computer started searching the help wanteds and couldn t apply for one posting I was qualified overqualified in most cases have the skills and required experience however I couldn t apply for one job because of a complete epic meltdown and I don t mean the computer Yet the idea of sending out resumes and interviewing send me down a spiraling staircase to my own little panic room of insanity At least that s what it felt like I didn t need to borrow Sheldon s fr Big Bang brown paper bag but it was a close call Why does the idea of submitting resumes and going on job interviews create such a strong negative reaction I am skilled My skills are in demand I am educated I have experience I m easy to get along with I have strong soft skills I m knowledgeable I have a superhero work ethic which helps me complete projects within record time My work is always high quality and beyond most expectations So why does looking for work cause me anxiety Job Search Stress Years of Experience Looking for Work It isn t the idea of working for someone else I m not scared of work of hard work of any work I m not giving up on my dreams or business because I wasn t closing up shop We moved to Vancouver in 2009 and the job I was told would be here when we got here wasn t When I went into the office to find out when I started the manager had some

choice words to say to me which did not instill any hope in my future there two candidates only to be told I was not the person for them Too often Interviewer Bias Though his negative comments were directed at me they weren t about me his issue was with people who came from Calgary I decided I did not want to be treated like that every day I also didn t want to sit around waiting for someone who d assured me I d be welcome to figure out what to do with me So I chose to part ways with the company and take a few months to get my family settled before looking for a new opportunity at a place where I was wanted and valued It took years for me to find a stable position The Interview Process I thought recruiters would be helpful boy was I wrong One young woman recruiter asked me to elaborate about what I was doing from 20032006 Simple answer I owned and ran a dayhome where I managed the needs of 8 families 11 children and 6 school schedules plus I was the Volunteer Coordinator for the Minor Soccer Association where I managed the volunteer requirements for 800 families and planned 3 events within 3 months all on a shoestring budget The outcome of all three was high praise from vendors and an event of epic proportions for the community She said I sounded like a bored housewife and I shouldn t tell the Some job postings took all day to story to the company she was apply for and then the interview sending me to She wasn t process was months long Multiple the first to tell me this times I went to interview after inter or some version of it view to get down to one of the last

Sara Im grew up in Cambodia where she overcame four years of captivity and mass genocide that claimed two million lives.Through her own resilience and God’s help she escaped, ed to America, graduated college, and wrote an award-winning book called “How I Survived the Killing Fields.”...and now she inspires others to have hope, courage, and a positive perspective in life.Her impactful message has been heard at corporate events, conferences, churches, schools, TV, podcasts, radio and more. She is the owner of Smart Healthy Living, a wellness business, and director of Christian Professionals Network of Tampa Bay.https://www.saraim.com/free-gis

Fear What is it The city noise penetrates my sleep and I wake alone feeling a foreboding an unease a fear deep in my gut Flashes of incomplete thoughts play in front of my mind s eye The feeling in my gut gets worse as its knots tighten my mind cycles and fear grows Rent is Due Tasks not done On my own Failures play out It takes time for the cobwebs to clear For the generator to turn on and kick start my conscious mind As my consciousness comes back online and my eyes begin to focus I stretch and my tummy rumbles I m hungry not scared Writers use emotion to motivate characters and move them through their story The two strongest motivators for human behaviour are fear and love Both are on either side of a weight scale and still interact to fuel each other An author can use the fear of losing a love or a child to motivate a character into action She can use the fear of never finding love to create conflict and depth in a character Fear of being hurt by someone we love to keep a character stuck and distanced from their target love Fear of being loved so much that the character can t reciprocate can inspire self awareness or introspection

We fear that which we do not control Our primal minds are all about survival and when it feels uncomfortable it spins out of control to get us Fear of loss We can t control if to act It feels something is wrong something is lost or someone is lost deep down in our gut and it wants Fear of an object The object is in con the feeling to go away so it cycles trol of our response and our safety through problems stressors and Fear of future No one controls this regrets to try to determine the threat Fear of the unknown You can t concausing the feeling trol what you don t know Fear of people Can t control the ac Analyze the Situation tions of others Fear of public speaking Really this is When we consciously analyze the sitthe fear of others judging you uation Break it down We discover things are not as scary as we thought So if we want to live a fearless life and nowhere near as stressful because We need to lose control We need we can act on a solution so why is our to let it go accept it and trust that society filled with so much fear things will be as they will be We need to see things for what they re A poll by the US National Mental ally are and not what they might be Health Association found that 85 of Americans believe that the USA will Due to global communication our experience a terrorist attack in the world is micro and we fear things that near future and 41 said they feel are not a threat We create threats fear Widmeyer Research Polling We are our own worst enemy be2004 There are countless polls and cause we have irrational fears anxiety studies proving we are living in a time and panic attacks We start hiding of heightened fear all one needs from the world shutting off from to do is Google Fear stats to find those around us becoming isolated proof that we are living in fear

Media Feeds Fear One of the reasons is our daily dose of media consumption whether it is traditional media outlets or social media To increase viewership news media makes stories sound as dramatic threatening and urgent as possible The result is 24 7 drama and danger Contributing to what George Gerbner called the mean world syndrome the sense we have based on a steady supply of frightening and threatening news that the world is a riskier place than it actually is Gerbner Gross 1976 We carry our news in our hands and talk about it on our screens It is everywhere and the media has profited from a decrease in censorship and an increase in consumption the Gulf War coverage catapulted CNN into a news media leader and people got used to having anytime access to breaking coverage The global reach of stories shared by CNN and other news outlets soon shrunk the globe bringing disasters from all over the world into our living rooms Suddenly when something happened in a large city people started believing it could happen down the street from their homes no matter how far they live from the event Censorship Relaxation and Fear Censorship used to ensured kids did not see images on TV Today everything is available to kids online and on their TV screens Children no longer feel safe After The news used to only be reported Columbine the number of school at 6 00PM then the early news beshootings has increased and the came a thing and then the morning safety features put in place to ensure news was created In 1980 CNN their safety makes the fear brought 24 7 news into our homes all too real for them with images of war crime and dan Thirty years ago we gers from around the globe In 1991 had fire drills Today

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During COVID in 2020, personal hardship added morestress to an already devastating global pandemic. Onemonth after surviving a successful heart transplant, Laurafaced an unexpected divorce after 27 years of marriage.Before that, she ran her husband’s business whileexperiencing breast cancer, their son’s suicide, and heartcomplications triggered by chemo treatments. Laura feltbetrayed, devastated, and broken. She recalled real-lifestories about ordinary people who overcame extraordinaryhardship through perseverance and hope. Laura reectedon those inspiring stories of resilience and began to takebaby steps to gain control of her life. She developed aprocess to overcome many of her fears as she started lifeover at age 58.https://www.icope2hope.com/3LifeChangingHacks

Make Rational NOT Emotional Decisions When we make certain decisions we feel emotional and those emotions can get in the way of making a good decision Unless a bear is wanting to eat you the decision can wait until you are in a more rational frame of mind Now if the bear looks hungry RUN or Google what you are supposed to do when facing down a hungry bear The journalist contacted me to clarif the story and didn t change the title they updated the story with a clarification at the bottom of the story If this had happened in a small town the story of his decision to freak out wouldn t have much reach But it happened in a small town and he wasn t a local Great reach for my client a negative story for their competitor Get Your Emotions Under Control Easier said than done trust me I know I ve got a PhD in triggering emotional responses in both myself and others I booked some traditional media news coverage for a client and the journalist removed some Words from the title and went with The First Store instead of The first Locally Owned Store The result Their competitor got on social media losing his mind AND stormed into my client s store to scream at employees Had he said nothing and realized the people in the town are smart enough to know his store exists the story wouldn t have had nearly as much reach How can we get our emotions under control so we can be more rational in our decision making When I get upset going for a walk won t help It only make me more agitated as I will feel like I need to be doing something to fix the issue For me I need to write it out so I can

switch out of my emotional brain into my rational one This is key Figure out which activity will move you into a more rational and logical mindset get your mind off the situation and you can create something out of the negativity you are feeling which may tell you what is bothering you Other Ways to Get Emotions Under Control Watch a comedy read funny book turn up the happy tunes on Spotify Get your mind off the situation by doing something that will make you laugh and smile Venting is a great way to get rid of all that emotional negativity and put it on to someone else who is listening to you empty out all the pain anger and frustration Remember to let the person know you are good and they need not worry about you because you just needed to vent For some people turning off the emotions is easy My daughter is blessed with a strong logical mind which helps her rationalise when things don t go her way She gets it from my dad Both of them shrug Go for a run the gym or a boxing off disappointment and life s frustraring For those of you who are physi tions I m not saying they are robots cal and enjoy a good sweat moving who don t feel anything I m saying is the perfect way to burn off that they are skilled at understanding emotional energy and sweat out the situations for what they are and not toxins By the time you ve showered sweating the small stuff and towelled off you ll be in a better frame of mind to make a decision For other people turning off emoabout the situation tions is hard if not impossible For those of us who feel on a Cook paint grab an instrument Use deeper level and are your creativity to work through the affected by the emotional mess inside you It will emotions of others

Jenny Baltazar, of Wild Blossom Coaching, serves others as a Transformational Embodiment Coach. She helps people to embrace their shadow (self) and the shattered parts of themselves to discover their inner wisdom, their passion and purpose, growing and blooming into the fullest expression of who they were born to be. Where others see the experiences of trauma, loss of a loved one, heartbreak, or feelings of powerlessness as a means to hold them back and stay stuck, Jenny believes these experiences may be harnessed to help people propel forward in their life, leading them to create and embody a healthy, happy, and peaceful life of thriving. Essentially, she believes that inside some of our most difcult human experience is where we nd the wisdom and power needed to transform our lives.

Battle Depression and Win Dealing with change in lifestyle is difficult even when one is excited about the changes When a negative change is forced upon you the ground is fertile for hopelessness and depression to take root This can happen at any time not just during a Pandemic shut down It can happen when someone you love dies you experience divorce your kids move out you get fired or laid off an investment tanks your business goes belly up you are in financial trouble and when the world pushes you behind closed doors Battling Depression Quote I have depression But I prefer to say I battle depression instead of I suffer with it Because depression hits but I hit back Battle on Anonymous Different types of Depression Not all depressions are the same and it is important to understand how depressed you are before you agree to medications If someone you know is depressed then understanding the type of depression they have will enable you to either accept the battle they are waging for the rest of their lives or give you an idea about how you can help them get past this dark time in their lives Clinical depression is the type where medical intervention is needed The following are different types of clinical depression Major Depression People who exhibit depression symptoms for 2 weeks are longer can be diagnosed with major depression The symptoms to look out for are sudden weight loss or gain Trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep feeling extremely tired all day feeling restless agitated sluggish feelings of worthlessness trouble

concentrating trouble making decisions thoughts of suicide There are different levels of major depression mild moderate and severe Where someone fits in on this scale will determine their treatment Most need to talk to a professional to help them obtain the tools to go into battle ous and needs to be taken seriously by loved ones who are in a supportive role Bi Polar Disorder Those who suffer from bi polar disorder otherwise known as manic depression have extreme mood swings which lead to self destructive behaviours on both sides of the pendulum Some will need extra pharmaceutical help to balance brain chemistry or hormones Medication is not something to When they are in a manic phase avoid or be encouraged by non medi they feel invincible have big ideas cal loved ones to forgo taking and a truckload of energy They don t sleep when experiencing maPersistent Depressive Disorder nia and they don t have normal reac previously called chronic People tions to situations A serious illness who suffer from this type of major in a loved one won t phase them depression have been battling it for because they can fix anything Then over two years Those who have this the fall comes and suddenly they type need medication to balance can t do anything all their plans and their chemical makeup efforts go up in smoke as they hide from the world For people suffering Psychotic Depression This is mafrom this illness the treatments are jor depression with hallucinations more complex thrown in for hits and giggles Those suffering from this type of Non Clinical depression depression can see things that aren t affects more people and there are delusional or paranoid thankfully is temporary This type of depression is very seriunlike it s clinical

Agueda Nunes coaches non-married women, widows and divorcees navigate the most turbulent times of their lives. Her programmes are designed to help women move past their pain, loss and confusion, to get back on track with their goals and dreams, with a renewed sense of hope and purpose.Her talk takes you on a journey with me through a 5 day hike called The Otter Trail, through the coastal Garden Route coast of South Africa. She uses it as an analogy to a grief journey challenging and inviting myself and others to ‘overcome the mountain’, looking forward to joy and hope that awaits us.

We are born with hope doubted my ability I did not So when the carpet was ripped out from It drives us Without hope we would under me and I had my first set back not learn to walk or talk It is our I was not prepared for the fallout innate need to Hope which ensures we become better do better and In 2006 I tried to buy a business and strive for better Over the years failed In the end I lost money my Hope and I have a rocky relationship confidence my voice and my power and I ve kicked her to the curb on After the financial loss My husband more than one occasion Recenttook control of our finances my fuly I was faced with the question of ture and my choices There are plenwhether to Hope or not so I dety of reasons why I allowed him to cided to take a closer look at what hammer nails into my entrepreneurial Hope is and my relationship with it spirit and take away my voice my dreams and my desire for better but Hope and I used to be very close they are for a different story I embraced it and believed without a doubt it would always come through for me I had little reason to believe otherwise because I was the type of person who didn t need to make contingency plans everything worked out the way I wanted I had complete confidence in my future and myself even if those around me After this event I no longer had any power What I wanted no longer mattered I had no control over my life I no longer cared about anything I gave up and moved in with hopelessness Seven years later my husband demanded a divorce and I entertained inviting Hope back into my life by finding love But all I

found in the dating pool was rejection and more failure So I kicked Hope to the curb once more and wallowed in my hopelessness Luckily Hope is embedded in our DNA and it never really goes away It can be embraced with the smallest glimmer of light in the distance As I rebuilt my life after divorce Hope was there showing me what is possible and at times I believed in the possible again hit a wall because there was no way I trusted hope enough to help get me through anything let alone self doubt In response I shared with the group how when I invited Hope into my life her sister disappointment showed up instead Then he shined a light on my problem with Hope I allowed expectation to crash the party Expectation is believing an exact result will occur and there is no room Hope is the Answer for any other option It s black and white When it doesn t work out Last week as I listened to entrepre there is no where else to go When neur Cameron Chell talk about how I thought back on the times in my to overcome self doubt to accomlife when I kicked hope to the curb plish the impossible I had a visceral I discovered expectation was to reaction to his solution which was blame not Hope I had expected disappointing You see I was lookthe bank would give me the loan to ing forward to discovering how this buy the business I had no doubt it man who does impossible things would happen I believed 100 in can even have self doubt let alone myself my future and couldn t wait how he manages it So there I was to get started I expected everything leaning in engrossed in what he to go right and was not prepared for was saying when he dropped the it to go so wrong bomb his solution to managing self doubt is Hope It felt like I d Keep Reading

Whitney Diamond is a creative growth coach. Based out of Park City, UT, she is a wife, mother, competitor, writer, and traveler. With a lifetime of creative growth achievements she offers lifestyle, intuitive modalities, competitive mindset, and professional coaching to her clients. As a 15+ year intuitive healer, with a background in competition and business, as well as nishing a philosophy degree the sky is the limit in her ability to assist her clients. When asked her favorite offerings she loves to spend time on the ranch with clients working through the after effects of trauma and crisis.

How to Stop Critizing People John felt like he was always flying off team s targets easily Were they the the handle with his team at work It problem or was he seemed like everyone was unhappy and no one was good at their job When he mentioned this problem to a friend he invited John to join a After his team missed yet another Mastermind group to help him find a deadline he brought them together solution to discuss the problem and find a solution John told the group about the meeting and how disappointed he He started the meeting by saying was in everyone and the meeting s Well you all did it again missed lack of solutions The group listened the deadline and now we all don t while he expressed his frustration get the bonus He grabbed a report then they gave him constructive and flipped the pages Stacy do feedback you even know what you re doing It looks like you slapped it together Brian asked him John is everyone last minute The rest of the meeting on your team incompetent John continued the same way with others assured them they were all competaking up the blame game to direct tent and talented individuals They John s attention elsewhere just were performing below their potential He left the meeting drained and confused He knew the team was Sarah went on to explain If you made up of skilled and experienced criticize their work constantly you individuals who should be hitting the are setting the tone of the group to

be one of criticism and blame They will not perform for fear of getting yelled at by you Sarah introduced John to the complaint formula for communication created by Dr John Gottman The Complaint Formula Talk about a specific situation After stating your feelings describe the situation or behavior that caused that feeling This approach removes the personal blame which results in attaching negative attributes to character abilities or talents You are saying the behaviour is at issue not the person Dr John Gottman refined the skill of effective complaining down to a simple three part formula With a little It is along the lines of the saying practice and persistence it will help Hate the behaviour not the child team members to talk to each other without doing harm Parents who focus on the child s shortcoming through blame and Express how you feel shame attack the child s worth When they focus on the behaviour Effective complaints are best they empower the child through launched by stating how you feel learning and development A feeling may be an emotion like anger or fear or a physical state like tiredness or pain It moves away from blame and personal attacks which accompany criticism and often begins with absolute phrases like you always or you never

Also, known as The Goal Achievement Strategist, an International Best Selling Author, Activational Speaker, Conquering Skills Educator, Coach/Mentor, Host of “The Rise Above Show”, Host of “The Rise Above Summit”, Host of the B.L.I.S.S. Retreat for Women. and Founder of Ultimate Achievement Books an Anthology Book Series “Rise Above Challenges”. It is all about Articulating, Activating, and Achieving with Curiosity, Courage, and Consistency. Patti has designed her entire platform around all things having to do with Conquering Skills Education, Breaking the Cycles of Limiting Beliefs, and Guiding people through the process of Dream Weaving to Achieving.

You know those people who knew what What is Purpose they wanted to be when they were 10 The dictionary says purpose is the The ones who were hyper focused reason something exists Accordon their purpose in life and made it ing to the University of Minnesota all look so easy purpose can guide life decisions influence behavior shape goals Well If you are anything like me offer a sense of direction and create that is NOT what happened on your meaning Other definitions I found life s journey are A goal or intention A plan to do something The things we strive for Most people live the life that found them instead of the one that filled My favourite definition purpose is them with a sense of purpose the reason we do something Now there is nothing wrong with working for the sake of a pay cheque so you can pay the mortgage and pay for your kid s hockey or dance class Your purpose isn t always in your paying work However for those of you like me who want one purposeful life instead of a work life balance finding a way to make money while fulfilling your purpose is the holy grail Simon Sinek wrote a whole book on finding our Why He says our WHY is the purpose cause or belief that drives every one of us He helps people understand why they get up go to work and find passion in their daily lives to help organizations move forward His popularity is a sign that people are seeking a reason for living by knowing what they do matters

You feel Jealous grew up became independent and moved out of the house Suddenly Have you ever cringed with discomI needed a new purpose to fill those fort and envy when someone told you long weeks between visits Finding what they did for a living or how they my reason for living was not easy I were changing the world had to reflect back to my younger years to remember what else in life Whenever I met someone who was a brought me joy writer I d have a gut wrenching physical reaction of jealousy Do you Lose time Is it a Hobby Do you spend your free time on the fringes of your purpose For years I would put my toe in the waters of storytelling through photography scrapbooking and working in sales My interests and jobs help me develop storytelling skills so when I was finally willing to embrace my purpose I had the talent and skills to succeed When you are engaged in doing something do you lose track of time and become so focused on what you are doing you forget to eat and push until you fall asleep When I m writing I lose time and I forget everything around me because I am getting the thoughts out of my head and onto paper There has been more than one meal missed and a pile of toothpicks keeping my eyes open Do You Feel Joy What did you do as a Kid When we feel joy we are living within our purpose For eighteen years my purpose was to be a mother and I loved every minute with my kids I felt joy every day Then they Think back to when you were a kid spending time on your own what did you do

Chances are you ve been rejected You ve experienced disappointment You ve felt the pain of not getting what you want People have disappointed you You ve struggled with hope If rejection hasn t beat the crap out of you you re not risking anything you don t want anything and you ve quit In my thirties I drank the positive thinking kool aid and why wouldn t I People wanted to know me Employers wanted to hire me My kids wanted to spend time with me and my husband wanted to build a life with me It was easy to be an optimist who could see the silver lining in everything and be content In my forties the kool aid proved to be sugar and food colouring I lost my job my husband some friends and my children grew up My life turned upside down and no amount of positive thinking fixed it Rejection begets more rejection I ve lost things in my life which leads to more rejection because people are wired to associate with those who win and society perceives loss as something to reject When asked questions about myself I need to focus on the gains and hide the losses to not tell the whole story which for a storyteller is nearly impossible Attitude Change Last year when I got laid off the HR person tried to give me hope with meaningless positive saying and quotes However I couldn t handle one more meaningless inauthentic I really don t care think positive quote My insides were being torn apart by fear and anxiety I didn t need to hear about doors windows and better things At that moment I needed understanding support and truth

No one has a crystal ball We can t see into the future Thinking positive though important isn t enough We must act If we do not learn from our experiences our fears are going to come true and placating someone with hope filled positive thinking quotes with no basis in reality blinds them to the truth Better to tell a person about their strengths rather than some airy meaningless quote love about you When others tell us why we are amazing we tend to believe it more than when we try to tell ourselves the same messages You might be surprised by how great you really are when others tell you what they see in you Positive messages based in fact and reality are different from delusional positive thinking sayings used to placate a person with hope about an uncertain future Sometimes we fail and the reasons for the rejection can help identify obstacles to success However most times we aren t the right person for the job not the right fit for a lover not the right personality for a friend and that s life Deal with it see it for what it is and move on Life changes sometimes for the best sometimes for the worst What doesn t change is you Focusing on the positives in your life remembering the good things about your character and knowing you are great at what you do are vital to achieving success after rejection I Got Rejected again I didn t move on in the interview process and it hurt It knocked me on my butt and I wanted to quit to hide myself away to drown in the doubt disappointment hurt and fear Instead I analyzed what happened and talked to a career counsellor about my interview answers to try and determine where I went wrong Make a list of all the things that I needed to find out make you great Ask friends to come how I failed to sell by and tell you all the things they myself as the best

Written 6 years ago after my emotional before my daughter would talk to and psychological breakdown when I was her father and my son had very little back on solid ground though I still had a to do with him once he settled in long way to go with me I wasn t a traditional mom I was a single mom If I d been a traI haven t posted anything for awhile ditional mom they would be more mostly because I have been all over dependent on me for their care and the place mentally and emotionally I not in such a hurry to go take care of didn t want to come across as a mis themselves erable sot of a person whom no one wants to be around because that In our home we were a team workis what I ve been If you know me ing together to build a life Their have been following me on social chores were different based on what media or our paths have crossed they wanted to do which wasn t you probably know that life likes to emptying the dishwasher I m not hit me over and over again It likes sure they even know how this one to keep things interesting for me works They did the grocery shopand remind me when I m not on the ping their own laundry and cooked right path Heaven forbid I get in a their own dinners I cleaned up after rut them was their bank and their taxi service It worked for us and gave My Kids Left me and I took it Hard them skills their friends didn t have After my husband decided I was no long welcome in his life i became a full time single mom it took years Losing my kids was my biggest fear and what I mean by losing them is they wouldn t live with me 24 7 This

fear started the day my ex forced me out of the house and grew after he told my son I didn t want him living with me My son did move back in with me and it wasn t easy but I was there for him throughout every bad decision he mad and every mistake I made I wrapped my whole existence in being their mom I could have moved but I stayed to ensure they were not displaced more than they already were I tried to make friends date and find work outside the house focus I made sure they got what they wanted and had as good a life as I could afford to give them which was financially poorer than the one I had at their age One minute we were a family the next I lost it all My son turned 18 this year and it is natural for him to want to move in with his girlfriend and friends That was hard enough and I was getting used to him not being a daily fixture in my life when my 15 year old I failed miserably at all three and daughter got angry with me and gripped onto my children even tight decided to live with her brother beer I do not recommend any mother cause their dad would give her the do this It isn t healthy for the chilchild support to move out dren or for you No matter how hard it is to find people to connect with I did the best I could with what I figure it out or figure out how to had and it wasn t much I was a enjoy life alone single parent with no support system and it took three years to get We were a close little family unit my ex to pay full child support The and I watched them grow become kids and I were finally able to afford young adults and did my best to a bigger place so I didn t have to be there whenever they needed me sleep in the living room anymore no matter the time of day I gave We were there just over them all my resources efforts and a year when my ex gave

Alone An excerpt from Everything hurts That s Life Novel Workbook I am unwanted I am unworthy I will never be loved A deep tired ache with every nerve on fire to remind me I m alone and I always will be Always alone These words keep going around and Forever alone around in my head Repeating them Damaged goods selves over and over It s like there is a demon talking inside my mind and Craig found someone to love him it won t shut up It won t stop It s He found love so he must have incessant I just want it to be silent been right when he said that I was so I can think so I can sleep so I can the reason our marriage didn t work move on that I m not good enough to love How can I move on when I feel so alone The pain inside is palpable Every word stabs at me Every realization rips me apart I want to cry scream beat something the pain is brutal and it won t go away It burns in my throat and behind my eyes It rips at my heart It leaves an empty hole beneath my breastbone He treats her with respect He cares about her wants and needs He never cared about mine I was nothing but a burden to him A responsibility he no longer wanted I didn t matter What I wanted didn t matter Who I am didn t matter My happiness never mattered All that mattered was him

My kids need me I need to focus all my energy and attention on them I m a mother Mothers don t date Mothers don t go to bars Mothers don t have sex with men that aren t their kid s fathers Mothers are good I m only a mother I m a single mother Single Alone She doesn t have all the insecurities I have Men see them Men don t see me Men want them Men don t want me Unwanted Invisible Worthless Lindsay wants me to go to some shindig with her tonight I don t want to go Maybe I should tell her I m My mother couldn t love me My sick Who am I kidding I ll go Even father couldn t love me My husband though I don t want to I ll go becouldn t love me I am unlovable I cause she asked me to am unworthy of love I know that every guy can see that Everyone I never say no I never do what I knows want I don t know I ll go I don t want to stay home I don t want to Men don t like me go I just Oh I don t know I don t Men will only reject me know what I want Mes will throw me away Maybe I should ask Craig what I Men talk to Lindsay because she s should do He always told me what gorgeous fun and happy She to do I m lost without him doesn t have all the problems I have I better get ready Lindsay will be Men talk to Charlie because she is ready to go soon She won t let me smart successful and interesting stay home

Damn Workbook questions about this chapter Why don t I know what I want Would you want to spend time with this woman Why or Why not I am unlovable I am unwanted I am alone The pain is sharp and it cuts into my soul shredding it to pieces This whole chapter is written in victim language rewrite it using hero language Once you have how does your impression of her change