February

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MarketAPeel

Shannon’s

Thoughts

Things here at MarketAPeel

are changing. At the end of last

year I partnered with Beatriz Fritz

who is taking on the sales roll to

build relationships with potential cli-

ents. This is a huge weight lifted off

me as trying to do everything was

not working.

For the last week I’ve been

creating processes, securing new

talent, and assessing technological

tools to help make everything run

smoothly.

Going from a solo act to one

with a supporting cast is exciting.I

feel like I can breathe and am nal-

ly getting somewhere. Trying to do

everything and be everything was

exhausting.

I am on solid ground. I can see

the light and I am coming into it.

Things have turned around for me

and those dark days seem like they

happened to someone else. When I

was in the darkness, I didn’t believe

people when they told me every-

thing would work out. I had a hard

time getting through the day, trying

to envision my future was difcult

as all I saw was loneliness and fail-

ure.

Years later, I am still alone,

but I am not lonely. I have failed,

but I don’t feel like a failure. I see

a promising future, one I am very

excited about.

APeeling is meant to be way

for me to help those who are lost in

the darkness of their lives nd solu-

tions to help them move forward

towards a better tomorrow.

This issue is meant to help

those who are struggling nd their

footing to build an APeeling life,

career, or business.

.

The Apple Peels are

link buttons.

Stats show single occupant homes

have increased over the last four

decades as more adults choose to

live alone.

The trend of single living

began in the 1960s as the baby

boomers wanted their indepen-

dence from parents, women

wanted careers of their own,

and divorce rates began to rise.

According to Stats

Can,“Since the beginning of

the 20th century, the average

size of households in Canada

has decreased, from 5.0 per-

sons in 1901 to 2.4 persons

in 2016. Along with smaller

households, the proportion of

one-person households grew

rapidly, from 7% in 1951 to 28%

in 2016, the highest level on

Single Living in Covid

Click the Peel to continue reading

by Shannon Peel

Tammy Boljuncic helps peo-

ple protect their wealth using,

investment, insurance, tax, and

estate planning tools. She has a

passion for helping others suc-

ceed, which drives her get out

into the world and nd someone

to cheer for. She has a joy for

life, which radiates from her and

lls a room with positive energy.

Her life’s purpose is to support

others, help them keep their

family’s wealth safe, and nd

nancial security. Her generous

nature is at the core of her cli-

entcentric philosophy.

She goes out of her way

to make her clients feel com-

fortable and safe because she

has a mission to protect others,

Meet Tammy Boljuncic

Click the Peel to continue reading

by Shannon Peel

Communication is clearer

when we understand the per-

son we are talking to and what

they need from us to under-

stand our message. This is why

the Blind Spot Assessment is

such a good tool for you and

your team. The report tells you

what your strengths and poten-

tial blind spots are so you can

be more self-aware when com-

municating.

Did you know, by knowing

what your team member’s Blind

Spot Type is, you can under-

stand their needs when com-

municating with them?

Motivators and Analyzers

are complete opposites. If they

can gure out a way to commu-

by Likky Lavji

Motivator v analyzer

Click the Peel to continue reading

Team Alignment in 2021

We’ve created a system of in-

tegrated series of one-on-one,

small group and facilitated

team dialogues, and interses-

sion work for the virtual meet-

ing situation many organiza-

tions are faced with-in today’s

environment.

One-on-one discussions

with a coach enables explora-

tion of issues they do not feel

comfortable voicing in a group

environment. During the per-

sonal coaching sessions, in-

dividuals will develop skills to

share their ideas in future group

discussions and process their

reactions to behaviours of other

team members.

Facilitated group discus-

Click the Peel to continue reading

by Shakeel Bharmal

The Road to Kindness

It is hard to get people to

see eye to eye on everything,

isn’t it? Debates will continue

for centuries to come and peo-

ple will continue to disagree.

One thing we can all agree

upon though, is that 2020 has

been anything but kind. Al-

though many blossomed, many

also struggled. The rst quarter

kicked off with a global pan-

demic that disrupted the lives

of millions. 2021 was destined

to rescue us and be our knight

in shining armor. It was sup-

posed to be the hero to burst

onto the scene and save us

from the corona villain. But just

when we thought it was over, in

true movie fashion, 2020 reared

Click the Peel to continue reading

by Shannon Whittington

Online Dating Scam Red Flags

You’ve heard the sto-

ries. You know there are people

on online dating sites who are

only there to get your mon-

ey, with no intention of meet-

ing you, dating you, or loving

you. I’ve talked with a few, and

played the game, to nd out

what tricks they had up their

sleeves.

Most of the time they have

a sob story that their wife died

in some horrible accident, or

from cancer, leaving him a wid-

ower and single dad. It’s always

a story that will pull at your

heart strings.

One guy told me his wife

and son died in a horrible car

accident on her way to church.

Click the Peel to continue reading

by Shannon Peel

There is no denying that this

is a difcult time for anyone who

sought support from others outside

of the home, regardless of whom

they live with. Any forced change

can result in depression in anyone

who does not have the tools to

cope. Dealing with change in life

-

style is difcult even when one is

excited about the changes. When

a negative change is forced upon

you, the ground is fertile for hope

-

lessness and depression to take

root.

This can happen at any time,

not just during a Pandemic shut

down. It can happen when some

-

one you love dies, you experience

divorce, your kids move out, you

get red or laid off, an investment

Battling Depression

Click the Peel to continue reading

Stats show single occupant

homes have increased over the

last four decades as more adults

choose to live alone.

The trend of single living

began in the 1960s as the baby

boomers valued their indepen-

dence from parents, women

wanted careers of their own,

and divorce rates began to rise.

According to Stats

Can,“Since the beginning of

the 20th century, the average

size of households in Canada

has decreased, from 5.0 per-

sons in 1901 to 2.4 persons

in 2016. Along with smaller

households, the proportion of

one-person households grew

rapidly, from 7% in 1951 to

28% in 2016, the highest level

on record.” In the US, the trend

was very similar, “In 2020, ap-

proximately 36.2 million peo-

ple were living in single-per-

son households in the United

States.” (Statisca.com)

The trend continued over

the last thirty years with X-gen

and Millennial increasingly liv-

ing on their own. Some people

never married, while others di-

vorced and decided not to enter

into marriage again in favour of

living on their own. The biggest

growth in single homes is in the

45-64 age group. Part of this

cohort are divorced people who

live alone for a short time before

nding a new partner. Though

people choose to live alone,

they still need connection and

community for their mental

health.

To fulll their need for so-

cial interaction, they developed

Increase in

Single Living

By Shannon Peel

intricate lives outside of their

homes to socialize at work, go

out with friends, to the gym,

classes, or a meetup group.

They had the best of both

worlds; community connection,

and solitude.

Many businesses facilitate the

need for community by bringing

individuals together for activities.

Be it a yoga class, a painting night,

or a running group. These regular

scheduled get togethers helped

single people to socialize with oth

-

ers without having to invite them

over or plan dinner parties in their

homes.

Covid closed these places

and forced those who live alone to

spend more time by themselves.

However,

that didn’t stop sin-

gle people. They increased the

amount of time they spent on

social media and interacting on

regular zoom calls.

Being able to connect

with people from all over the

world with the click of a mouse

has helped many people cope

during lockdowns and social

distancing. Whether it was hav-

ing dinner with family members

hundreds of miles apart, or tex-

ting with a new Tinder match,

connection and community is

still possible, though different.

Online we can form pro-

fessional relationships, build

friendships, and even fall in

love with someone who lives

on the other side of the globe.

Anything is possible if we put in

the effort. However, virtual rela-

tionship building is fraught with

dangers and are less satisfying

than real world interactions.

Online scammers seek out

those people who are alone

and feeling lonely. They use the

power of words to form con-

nections that feel so real, they

can ask for money and receive

it without question. For more

about Online Dating Scams,

read the article in this issue.

Scammers are on all social me-

dia sites and it is important to

understand how they work.

We use social media to

nd the connections we crave

and it is human nature to com-

pare our lives to those we see

in our social media feeds. Too

much time scrolling through

Be Battle Ready

Types of

Depression

Your Soldier Your Army Your Training

Types of

Support

Types of

Therapies

our feeds can give anyone a

skewed impression of what oth-

ers lives are like and how our

own life falls short.

Is it any wonder depression

lurks waiting to attack anyone

who spends too much time fo-

cusing on what others have and

what they lack, instead of what

they have? For more about

ghting the depression war,

click one of the peels above.

Single life during Covid

can be lonely, quite, and dif-

cult. However, it can also give

you the time you need for

projects you always wanted to

complete. Whether it is learn-

ing a new language, develop-

ing a skill for work, getting new

certication to give you a bet-

ter chance at that promotion

you’ve had your eye on, or per-

haps connecting with people

you haven’t talk to since high

school. With zoom you can talk

face to face, no matter how far

away they live.

Single people have the

time without the distraction

of a spouse or children, unlike

those who live with family and

must see to their demands

and needs. The grass may look

greener, but each side of the

fence has it’s own challenges.

Being single during Covid,

makes socializing difcult, but

not impossible.

There are many reasons

people choose the single life.

They never found the right per-

son. Are focused on their ca-

reers or businesses. Some lost

the love of their life and cannot

see themselves with someone

else. Others tried marriage or

cohabitating for awhile and are

now learning how to live for

themselves instead of for others.

Living the single life is different

than living a married life or fam-

ily life, but no less fullling when

it is packed with activity, com-

munity, and satisfying work.

I’ve been able to focus

on launching a new product

to take my business in a differ-

ent direction. I’ve met people

through LinkedIn and continue

to meet with them once a week

on zoom to support and help

each other.

I listen to audible non

stop to keep me company. I stay

sane by keeping my mind busy

from morning to night.

For the last ten years, a new

trend has been developing as

more young adults choose to live

at home with their parents instead

of striking out into the world on

their own. It will be interesting to

see if this trend and the experienc

-

es of Covid will change the trajec-

tory of single home occupancy in

the near future.

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join the discussion

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Why Do you think Gen Z and Millennials feel so

much lonelier than Boomers? No one asked X -

Gen if they were lonely - Why Not? Where do

you think they would t in the answers

?

Click the Peel to

Join the Conversation

Date of Survey is 2019.

Do you think it’s gotten

better or worse?

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Content Package

includes 10 social

media posts

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Graphics PLUS a written story,

a tweet, and writing prompts

for each image for you to use

on your social media platforms

About Cameron Chell

Cameron Chell is considered

a ‘serial entrepreneur’ with his

rst ventures beginning at age 14

and a trajectory in business that

spans more than 25 years. He is

the co-founder and CEO of the

Business Instincts Group (BIG) and

BUILD Impossible. He has launched

numerous successful tech start-ups

such as Dragany Innovations (CSE:

DFLY) (OTCQB: DFLYF), ColdBore

Technologies, Raptor Rig, Urthe-

cast, KODAKOne and Currency-

Works (TSXV and OTCQB: CWRK).

His entrepreneurial success is

based on principles of clear vision,

quantiable results and tireless pur-

suit of goals.

A sought-after speaker, Chell

has addressed audiences of thou-

sands in settings around the world.

His presentations include speeches

at the United Nations, Tony Rob-

bins, and TEDx Montreal Women.

His talks touch on themes ranging

from technology to homelessness

as he shares his life experiences of

overcoming hurdles and doing “the

impossible.”

Cameron Chell

Gets Schooled

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Imagine Sheldon from

“The Big Bang Theory” and To-

bias Funke from “Arrested De-

velopment” running a business

together. How do you think it

would go?

They probably wouldn’t

hear what either one said and

would get extremely frustrat-

ed with each other’s ideas and

work style. Sheldon would ex-

plain all the reasons why his

idea was the superior one and

Tobias would go do what he

wanted while getting the team

onboard with his crazy stunts.

Could these two types of

people ever communicate and

work well with each other? It

would take a herculean effort

on both sides of this match up,

however, it is possible.

The Motivator POV

The Motivator makes

friends easily and wants every-

one to succeed, they just don’t

always follow through on their

ideas. By taking a moment to

ask the analyzer for their in-

put, (just don’t zone out when

they give all the reasons their

idea will work,) the Motivator

will discover well thought out

ways to get stuff done. The an-

alyzer will keep the Motivator

accountable and on task to see

Keynote Speaker | Facilitator | Consultant

APeeling Columnist

The Motivator v the Analyzer

the project through to comple-

tion. Admit it, that would be

benecial.

The Motivator’s intuitive

nature will come in handy for

this mission impossible, if they

choose to accept it.

By understanding the Ana-

lyzer has a need to be right and

for the job to be done right,

the Motivator can easily make

this relationship work.

Acknowledge the Analyz-

er’s need to be right and use

their Motivator ability to con-

vince them to get onboard with

the rest of the team. A Motiva-

tor can help the Analyzer de-

ne more realistic expectations,

feel included in the group, and

feel appreciated for what they

bring to the table.

Motivators have the op-

timistic attitude to succeed,

however it will take patience as

the Analyzer is quite stubborn.

The Analyzer’s POV

The Analyzer will want

projects to be done the right

way and they have high expec-

tations of themselves to get

things right the rst time.

They expect everyone else

on the team to be perfect too

and tend to get bogged down

in the details, which cause de-

lays in getting the project off

the ground. By talking to the

Motivator, the Analyzer can

see the bigger picture and nd

ways to get started without

needing every little detail in

place. The Motivator will keep

the Analyzer moving forward

and excited about the project.

The Analyzer’s ability to

keep everyone accountable will

come in handy for this mission

impossible, if you choose to

accept it.

By understanding that the

Motivator needs to feel excit-

ed in order to be interested in

a project, the Analyzer can nd

information and ideas to keep

them engaged. When talking

to a Motivator, do an Anyalyz-

er needs to do their best to

skip over details and get to the

point by focusing on the end

result more than how the team

will get there.

Talk about the next steps,

the big picture, and the result

to keep the Motivator’s atten-

tion while making the next

steps clear to everyone.

Don’t overload Motivators

with tasks and details, they’ll

get lost and then they’re off on

another adventure.

If you want to talk about

the details of the project and

everything you know about the

topic, nd the controller or sta-

bilizer to talk to, they will be

interested in what you have to

say.

With the Motivator’s natu-

ral ability to motivate the team

to get started on a project and

the Analyzer’s natural ability to

see the project through to com-

pletion, these two can make for

a great team. They just need to

learn how to communicate.

click Button

Discover your Leadership Style

and Which BlindSpots to

Look Out for.

Charlotte, North Carolina

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Introducing “Your Own Magazine”

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customizable digital magazine

Emily de Silva is a co-own-

er of Cultivated Talent, a re-

cruitment company for the

beauty, lifestyle, and fashion

industry.

I recently met her in a

weekly business group

facilitated by Alaina Schwartz.

As I’ve gotten to know her and

the challenges she faces

helping clients nd the

right candidates for positions, I

came to understand the issues

companies have filling positions

and diversifying their teams.

Watch the video to learn

more about Cultivated Talent

and how they help clients.

Click the Peel to learn

more about Cultivated Talent.

Click image to Play Video

Introducing “Your Own Magazine”

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customizable digital magazine

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We’ve created a system

of integrated series of one-on-

one, small group and facilitated

team dialogues, and interses-

sion work for the virtual meet-

ing situation many organiza-

tions are faced with-in today’s

environment.

Personal Coaching Sessions

One-on-one discussions with a

coach enables exploration of

issues they do not feel com-

fortable voicing in a group en-

vironment. During the personal

coaching sessions, individuals

will develop skills to share their

ideas in future group discus-

sions and process their reac-

tions to behaviours of other

team members.

Facilitated Group Session

Facilitated group discus-

sion uncover important issues

and resolve them in a safe, can-

did and trusting environment.

The team will create an aligned

understanding and commit-

ment to key questions includ-

ing but not limited to:

Building Cohesive Teams

What is the team’s purpose?

How do we behave as a team?

Clarify tasks and processes

Identify goals and KPIs

What is the most important

thing we need to do next?

Assign roles within team

(Derived from Patrick Lencioni’s

The Advantage)

How to Align

Teams in 2021

By Shakeel Bharmal

The facilitator will provide

short, thought provoking key-

notes, reection questions,

brief videos, and articles to pre-

pare for one-on-one and group

discussions and will also doc-

ument outcomes of dialogues

and share for reaction.

The way this work is done

should serve to build trust and

clarity and set the tone for the

way decisions are made and

differences of opinion are re-

solved within the organization.

all team members”

Every year, leaders need to

ensure their teams are aligned

to achieve the purpose of their

department and organization.

This year, one and two day all

day planning meetings are not

realistic in a virtual environ-

ment. The signicant virtual

work spawned during the pan-

demic has had some benets,

like reduced commute times,

increased productivity, in-

creased exibility and for some

better

work life balance.

While collaborative tools

and video conferencing cer-

tainly helps in getting the work

done, it has been increasingly

difcult to build the alignment

required to ensure teams are

cohesive and have a shared

clarity, understanding of ac-

countability, and expected re-

sults for the team.

Due to the pandemic, in-

dividual lives and work habits

have changed. Trying to simply

replicate past formats to facil-

itate team alignment will miss

the individual reection re-

quired for each member of the

team to re-dene the way they

engage and their role within

the team.

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to the Navigating Disruption

Podcast

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Y

ou

Photo by Colleen Shorter

Meet the Realtor

Colleen Shorter

When Colleen Shorter

moved to the North Shore, she

felt like she was nally home. It

is where she belongs and she

never wants to leave. Whenever

she drives north over the Lions

-

gate bridge, she gets a warm

feeling and a huge smile on her

face because she is living in the

best place in the world. She en

-

joys living the healthy lifestyle

the North Shore offers.

The community has everything

she needs. It has the Park Royal

shopping centre, small business

boutique shopping, yoga class

-

es, doctors, pharmacies, the

park, the beach, and the moun

-

tains. You can swim, bike, walk,

ski, snowshoe, and never have

to drive. Whether she visits the

Capilano suspension bridge, the

dam, Grouse Mountain, the riv

-

er, and trails, she is happy to be

in the natural environment of her

community.

Discover why

she loves Living

in Vancouver’s

North Shore.

Look Inside

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Tammy Boljuncic helps

people protect their wealth us-

ing, investment, insurance, tax,

and estate planning tools. She

has a passion for helping oth-

ers succeed, which drives her

get out into the world and nd

someone to cheer for. She has

a joy for life, which radiates

from her and lls a room with

positive energy. Her life’s pur-

pose is to support others, help

them keep their family’s wealth

safe, and nd nancial security.

Her generous nature is at the

core of her clientcentric philoso-

phy.

She goes out of her way

to make her clients feel com-

fortable and safe because she

has a mission to protect others,

ensure they are protected when

vulnerable, and are not taken

advantage of by selsh peo-

ple. When you meet her, you

realize it isn’t an act, she really

lives to provide safety to others

because she has a deep seed-

ed need to feel safe and wants

everyone to experience the joy

of life when they are no longer

living in fear.

Tammy loves a good con-

tract and reads up on industry

products every day to ensure

she has the information her cli-

ents need to make an informed

decision. She strives to under-

stand the reasons her clients

want to save, protect their fam-

ilies, and their health so she

can introduce them to products

matching their needs and not

the ones that pay her the most.

In fact, she doesn’t know which

insurance companies or prod-

ucts pay higher or lower com-

missions because that is the

Meet Tammy Boljuncic

Insurance Advisor

By Shannon Peel

only piece of information she

skips over when diving into the

features and benets of each

insurance product and its con-

tracts. It truly bothers her when

she sees people who were sold

something they didn’t need,

didn’t want, and didn’t ask for

when they approached a nan-

cial professional.

To protect her clients, it

is important to be a resource

and have the answers to help

them make the best decisions,

this takes constant study. She

is currently taking the CFP –

Certied Financial Professional

course to be able to provide her

clients with more in the way of

answers, products, and solu-

tions for their nancial plans

and goals. She takes every

opportunity to learn about the

industry and all it has to offer in

order to serve clients the best

options for their situation.

If you don’t continue to

read and learn about all the op-

tions, you can’t help people with

the tough stuff, like tax plan-

ning. Taxes are complicated

and most people nd it boring

to read about tax law and how

to pay less in tax because it is

a complicated always changing

part of nancial planning. When

she talks to people who don’t

know how to lower their tax bill

and do not have a plan in place

to ensure their wealth is pro-

tected from tax, she becomes

a crusader to educate them,

advocate on their behalf, and

bring trustworthy professionals

to the table to efciently struc-

ture their nancial plan.

When she talks to people

who fear they won’t be able to

retire because they won’t have

enough money to live on, it

bothers her. She believes ev-

eryone should have the right to

retire and afford to take care of

themselves. Many people are

uncomfortable talking about

their nancial health, pension

plans, taxes, and estate plans.

Tammy approaches the topics

with an upbeat, excited energy

because she loves talking about

these topics. Don’t understand

your pension plan, no prob-

lem she’ll dive in and explain it

to you. Don’t know how much

you’ll really need in the bank to

be able to walk away from your

job? No problem, Tammy will

explore what lifestyle you want

and how much it will cost. She

loves these types of challenges

because at the heart of what

she is doing is helping people

nd security and joy in their fu-

ture, which is her purpose in

life.

There are many reasons

why Tammy loves the insurance

and investments industries,

when it comes to a personal

reason it is all about the num-

bers. She prefers insurance

products and segregated funds

because of the certainty they of-

fer her clients and the lower risk

when compared to other invest-

ment vehicles. Her approach is

to secure what you have rst

and then decide if you can af-

ford to take higher risks with

your family’s wealth.

She prefers working with cli-

ents who work hard, have

saved some money, built wealth

through real estate or business,

and need a way to protect their

family. People who want guar-

antees, who want to feel se-

cure, and know what they will

have in the end are her ideal

clients.

Photo by Marcy Peel

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Comment

It is hard to get people to

see eye to eye on everything,

isn’t it? Debates will continue

for centuries to come and peo-

ple will continue to disagree.

One thing we can all agree

upon though, is that 2020 has

been anything but kind. Al-

though many blossomed, many

also struggled. The rst quarter

kicked off with a global pan-

demic that disrupted the lives

of millions. 2021 was destined

to rescue us and be our knight

in shining armor. It was sup-

posed to be the hero to burst

onto the scene and save us

from the corona villain. But just

when we thought it was over, in

true movie fashion, 2020 reared

its ugly head again and lmed

one last scene.

The Road to

Kindness

by Shannon Whittington

P

riceless

The storming of the Capi-

tol made us think that perhaps

2021 was not our saving grace

after all. It tempted us to give

into cynicism and unrest. To

hop on the bandwagon of us

versus them. Maybe we are in

for yet another year of huge

disappointment and isolation.

Who knows? But we must not

lose hope.

Kindness is the antidote

to 2020, so why wait for divine

intervention?

This year will be only as

good as we make it. Our bright

future is ahead, and kindness is

the road that will lead us there.

Social media has made us

all addicted to society’s likes

and emojis. But the sele ap-

proach doesn’t work here.

When it comes to cultivating

kindness, you are only compet-

ing against yourself. Be kinder

today than you were yesterday,

and pledge to be even kind-

er tomorrow, even if there are

K

ind

Words Cost

Nothing

yet are

no “seles” to post. You don’t

need to capture what you did

for someone.

You know what you have

done, and more importantly the

person who beneted from your

kindness knows. Let that be the

sele you store in the album of

your heart.

Your kind act does not

have to be something monu-

mental or even life-changing. It

could be as simple as holding

the door open for someone or

saying thank you at the check-

out counter. Wearing a mask is

an act of kindness as well.

This issue has become sur-

prisingly controversial, but it

really doesn’t have to be. Face

coverings are here to not only

protect you but also to protect

others. Yes, it is inconvenient,

but wouldn’t you rather be

slightly inconvenienced than

live or even die from conta-

gion?

Many of us tend to put our

sense of compassion on a men-

tal shelf and dust it off in the

time of crisis, when we need to

make a bargain with our con-

sciousness. Do not promise to

be compassionate in exchange

for a better future; promise to

be compassionate as if the bet-

Subscribe to APeeling

You’ve heard the stories.

You know there are people on

online dating sites who are only

there to get your money, with

no intention of meeting you,

dating you, or loving you. I’ve

talked with a few, and played

the game, to nd out what

tricks they had up their sleeves.

What are the Red Flags?

Most of the time they have

a sob story that their wife died

in some horrible accident, or

from cancer, leaving him a wid-

ower and single dad. It’s always

a story that will pull at your

heart strings.

One guy told me his wife

and son died in a horrible car

accident on her way to church.

He was a soldier in the US

army, stationed in Syria, and

his daughter was at boarding

school in Canada.

What made me suspicious?

He was not in my area. He

was in Syria, a war zone, and a

US soldier. I realize that the US

did send soldiers to train the

rebels, however, at the time

Spot the Scam

of this conversation, it was not

public knowledge.

He would Skype with me,

but the sound never worked

and we were still IMing, though

we could ‘see’ each other. He

had lots of time to talk to me,

too much time, he could spend

all day on the computer chat-

ting with me.

The photo he sent me of

his daughter was an obvious

stock photo and not a pic of his

teenaged daughter, whom he

hadn’t seen in 2 years. Accord-

ing to him, she lived at a Cana-

dian Boarding School all year

round.

I Googled to check and

boarding schools in Canada

cost over $50 K a year. I’m not

positive, but I found it hard to

believe that a US soldier made

enough to pay for a private

boarding school.

What I did to verify my

suspicions:

I read a bunch about Syr-

ia, the climate, the people,

the towns, the news, etc. Then

asked him general vague ques-

tions, like what did you do to-

day? Or what’s it like in Syria

now? Or How’s the weather?

He’d take a long time to

answer compared to other

parts of our conversation. Then

he’d send me a link to a news

story, a weather update. He

Googled the answer instead of

telling me about his own expe-

riences.

At one point, I asked him

what time it was and he gave

me the wrong time. I’d checked

to see what the time difference

was, so when he told me 10:00,

I knew that he couldn’t be in

Syria. He was in Russia.

The nail on his cofn was

when he told me that his ‘son’

needed a mother. Remember,

he had a teenage daughter and

his son had died in a car acci-

dent. That’s a detail any parent

would keep straight.

How to Identify a Scammer:

Scammers have gotten

more sophisticated over time.

They now have fake Facebook

proles with few friends, none

of whom are connected to each

other, and were just opened.

They have phone numbers reg-

istered to actual places in the

US. They have addresses of a

place near you. They have busi-

nesses with simple websites.

So, how can you know

if that great guy or gal, who

wants to get to know you on-

line, is real or a scammer? I

don’t have a foolproof formula,

all I can do is offer some points

to help you.

Keep a written record of the

details, ie, age, location, kids,

job.

Is the info given appropriate or

are they trying to prove their

story with evidence regular

people wouldn’t send without

being asked. Like receipts, let-

terhead invoices, or other odd

bits of information.

Keep all messages to compare

to new information coming in

Ask vague open ended ques-

tions to encourage more de-

tails. Do they give details of

their story or do they just want

to know about you?

Do they ask odd questions

like, where you went to high

school, the name of your rst

pet, where your parents met?

Beware of password type ques-

tions coming from someone.

Ask yourself, does the voice,

accent, etc, match the photo

and the story

Want to Share Your Story?

Research the information Goo-

gle has lots of information. If

there is nothing, don’t panic,

they may just be a private per-

son.

Do an image search using their

images by dropping the pho-

to in the Google search bar. I

found the photos being sent

were of actors and models, and

no, they were not the person

on the other end of the line.

If you nd a social media feed

using the photo you have been

sent, send them a message

through their prole. It may be

the one they created or it may

be one they stole photos from.

Keep a written record of the

times you chat & what time it

would be there. Are they too

available when they should be

working or sleeping? Consider-

ing the time difference, do they

make sense?

Ask yourself, does the infor-

mation provided make sense?

Do not give too many details

about your life, keep talking

about them. If they won’t talk

about themselves and reply to

your questions with questions,

nd someone else to chat with.

Does the conversation feel

scripted and inauthentic com-

pared to other conversations

you have. Do not give lan-

guage barriers as an excuse for

scripted answers.

Go with your gut and keep ask-

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ing yourself questions, without

asking them to explain why the

information isn’t making sense.

If you see a pattern of lies and

things that don’t make sense,

save yourself time and block

him.

I have talked with a few on-

line dating scammers to get a

good idea of how they sound,

what they promise, what they

say. They have a system, it’s like

they all took the same Online

Scammers course and work off

the same script.

When a Scammer asked me

for money:

Most times I talk to scam-

mers, I shut them down way

before they get to the request

for money, one time, I didn’t.

This scammer was good,

Like this article? Share it ->

Click Peel to

Comment

at rst, then he started trigger-

ing red ags, so I decided to

test the waters and went all in.

I pretended to be in love, crazy

do anything for him love. Plan-

ning a future together, every-

thing.

It took a week for him to

ask me for money to get home

from Taiwan, $50 000 - he had

a shipment in customs and

needed the cash to bribe of-

cials to get it out. I told him, I

didn’t have that kind of money.

He asked for $25 000. I told

him, I didn’t have that kind of

money. He asked me to get a

loan. I told him, I wouldn’t. He

told me love is about helping

each other out. Ah yeah - NO!

Bottom Line:

No matter how wonderful

they sound, the minute they

ask you for money, it’s a scam.

Close your computer and run.

Run fast. Block him from ev-

erything and look for someone

who lives close to you.

If he says he can only

turn to you to ask for help, do

you really want to be dating a

person with so few real world

people who care about them?

If they are alone in this world,

chances are, there is a good

reason for it. - RUN! I’d never

ask someone online for money

- NEVER. Would you?

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content library lled with generic

evergreen content which they can use

for their own social media posts

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Photo by Marcy Peel

There is no denying that this is a difcult time

for anyone who sought support from others outside

of the home, regardless of whom they live with. Any

forced change can result in depression in anyone who

does not have the tools to cope. Dealing with change

in lifestyle is difcult even when one is excited about

the changes. When a negative change is forced upon

you, the ground is fertile for hopelessness and de

-

pression to take root.

This can happen at any time, not just during

a Pandemic shut down. It can happen when some

-

one you love dies, you experience divorce, your kids

move out, you get red or laid off, an investment

tanks, your business goes belly up, you are in nan

-

cial trouble, and when the world pushes you behind

closed doors.

Battling

Depression

Clinical depression is the

type where medical intervention is

needed. The following are different

types of clinical depression:

Major Depression. People who

exhibit depression symptoms for

2 weeks are longer can be diag

-

nosed with major depression. The

symptoms to look out for are sud

-

den weight loss or gain,

Trouble getting to sleep or

staying asleep, feeling extremely

tired all day, feeling restless, agitat

-

ed, sluggish, feelings of worthless-

ness, trouble concentrating, trou-

ble making decisions, thoughts of

suicide. There are different levels

of major depression, mild, moder

-

ate, and severe. Where someone

ts in on this scale will determine

their treatment. Most need to talk

to a professional to help them ob

-

tain the tools to go into battle.

Some will need extra phar-

maceutical help to balance brain

chemistry or hormones. Medication

is not something to avoid or be

encouraged by non-medical loved

ones to forgo taking.

Persistent Depressive Disorder

(previously called chronic). People

who suffer from this type of major

depression have been battling it

for over two years. Those who have

this type need medication to bal

-

ance their chemical makeup.

Psychotic Depression. This is ma

-

jor depression with hallucinations

thrown in for *hits and giggles.

Those suffering from this type of

depression can see things that ar

-

en’t there, are delusional, or par-

anoid. This type of depression is

very serious and needs to be taken

seriously by loved ones who are in

a supportive role.

Different types

of Depression

Bi-Polar Disorder. Those who suf-

fer from bi-polar disorder, other-

wise known as manic depression,

have extreme mood swings, which

lead to self-destructive behaviours

on both sides of the pendulum.

When they are in a manic

phase, they feel invincible, have

big ideas, and a truckload of ener

-

gy. They don’t sleep when experi-

encing mania and they don’t have

normal reactions to situations. A

serious illness in a loved one won’t

phase them because they can x

anything. Then the fall comes and

suddenly they can’t do anything,

all their plans and efforts go up in

smoke as they hide from the world.

For people suffering from this ill

-

ness, the treatments are more

complex.

Non-Clinical depression af

-

fects more people and thankfully

is more temporary than it’s clinical

counterpart.

Situational Depression. Most peo

-

ple who experience depression at

some point in their lives have this

type of depression. It is triggered

by an event they have no con

-

You are NOT Alone!

Think

Differently

trol over and causes them a great

amount of grief. At times they have

lost their purpose, their reason for

living, and feel like they no longer

matter in this world. Once the situ

-

ation has resolved itself or enough

time has passed, the depression

eases and they can lead normal

lives again. Some people will need

a mild anti-depressant to help

them get through this time.

Seasonal Affection Disorder

(SAD). We all can suffer from sea

-

sonal depression if we move to the

north pole between October and

May without any Vitamin D sup

-

plements. Those who live in places

where the sun doesn’t shine for

months on end, like Vancouver in

the winter, seasonal depression can

settle in, especially if your body

lacks Vitamin D. With a special

bright light and some Vitamin D

pills, most people are able to get

out of their funk during the long

dark winter.

Postpartum Depression. This

occurs in mothers who struggle

after childbirth for a lot of different

reasons, hormones, anticlimactic

expectations, lack of support, life

changes, lack of condence, lack

of sleep, and a number of oth

-

er reasons. Mothers who are not

bonding with their babies, cry all

the time, or want to do nothing but

sleep need to see a doctor, even

if they don’t feel like it. They won’t

feel like it. They might need some

-

one to take control and get them

help by taking them to the doctor

and explaining what they are wit

-

nessing.

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disor-

der (PMDD). This occurs in women

monthly before their periods and

can be hard to diagnose because

there could also be PMS symptoms

masking this problem. If you nd

yourself getting sad, disinterested,

really tired, anxious before your

period every month, you may need

pharmaceutical help to manage

your hormones or brain chemistry.

You need an army to ght

with you against the enemy. No

one can win this war without sup

-

port and help. It is easier for some-

one to remain in the dark alone

instead of asking for help. Those

who speak up and ask for help are

brave and have the strength to get

better because they took the hard

-

est step – the rst one.

You need to ll your army’s

ranks with supporters who are

equipped to help you. It is import

-

ant you recruit more than one, as

it is unfair to expect one person to

take on the burden of helping you

get back on your feet.

As the General of this army

it is important for you to care for

your troops. Unless you are paying

for professional help, your support

system is not all about you. It is

important you nd ways to support

those friends and family members

who step up to help you. When

you help others you nd purpose

and meaning in your life, which will

help you to get better.

Therapist. You need to nd some

-

one who will hear you and listen

to what you are saying. Someone

who is trained to help depressed

people understand what is going

on in their heads and can ask the

right questions to unlock doors to

discover solutions. It is important

you nd the right person and un

-

derstand the type of therapy they

offer so you can understand what

to expect from it.

If you have major depression,

you need to nd a professional

therapist, not a life coach, not a

friend, not your mother.

Different types

of Supporters

Friends. People you can call and

will drop what they are doing to go

to a movie with you, go for a walk,

have some coffee, whatever activ

-

ity you enjoy doing. These people

are there for you and you are there

for them. It’s a two-way street. If it

isn’t a two-way street – you need

to evaluate your capacity to be a

good friend or your type of friends.

Pet. Pets can work wonders on

your soul by loving you and being

there when you need them for a

snuggle or a quiet listener.

Family. This area of people can

be a mineeld. If you have a tox

-

ic family then you need to look to

others for support. If you have sup

-

portive family, be grateful for them

and do whatever you can to be

supportive back.

Family members aren’t your

therapist, your savior, or your get

out of jail free card. They are the

people who love you no matter

what stupid thing you do or say.

Don’t expect them to carry your

burden or be someone they aren’t.

There are

those who

care and

want to

help you

Mentors, Teachers, Leaders.

Throughout our lives we come

across different people who men

-

tor us, teach us, and lead us. These

people can help you by sharing

their stories of how

they battle de-

pression and give you helpful advice.

Understand their role in your life,

they aren’t your BFF or your thera-

pist. These are people who have been

where you are and can teach you what

worked for them. Some of it will work

for you, some of it won’t. Be thankful

for their time and listen attentively to

their stories to nd weapons you can

use in your battles.

Avoid people who think they have

it all gured out and an “if I can do it

you can do it” philosophy, especially if

they believe in a one size ts all solu-

tion. They are unable to see people as

different from themselves and don’t

understand others need different solu-

tions.

If someone is quick to give you

advice and slow to listen to what you

are actually going through, don’t look

to them for help. They are incapable of

hearing you and don’t have the empa-

thy to truly understand you, your story

and where you are on your journey.

Make sure those whom you turn

to are equipped to help and you are

realistic in your expectations of them.

Most importantly, nd a therapist who

is trained in your type of depression.

Different types

of Treatments

Every soldier needs train-

ing to be effective in battle. For

those battling depression, train-

ing comes in the form of ther-

apy. There are three distinctive

camps Psycho, Behavioural,

and humanistic, all of which will

provide you with the weapons

you need to win this ght.

Psychodynamic Therapies

Psychodynamic Therapy – It

is the lie on the couch and talk

your problems away by diving

deep into your past to discov-

er why you are struggling in

the present. These one-hour

sessions with trained psycho-

logical professionals asking

you “How does that make you

feel,” go one for as long as the

person need help. Psychody-

namic Therapy believes chron-

ic problems are rooted in the

unconscious mind and need to

be understood for a catharsis

to occur. It helps the person

become self-aware of their un-

conscious patterns and how

they formed in order to rewire

or change the pattern. Psycho-

dynamic therapy is focused on

the individual and is patient led

free form sessions without a

predetermined subject to dis-

cuss.

Freudian Therapy – This is

the original therapy theory of

the unconscious (id) which is

moderated by the ego and

the superego, and controls the

id impulses through guilt and

shame. You must dig deep into

your childhood for an answer.

Ego Therapy – This type is de-

rived from the Freudian and

focuses on ego function as it

relates to world outside the

individual. It focuses on the in-

dividual’s capacity to form de-

fenses, adapt, and test reality.

Object Relations Therapy –

This theory believes individuals

are formed by those around

them. The individual strug-

gles to maintain relationships

with other people while being

unique. The representation of

self is created in childhood and

played out in adult relation-

ships. We repeatedly engage in

the same type of relationships

to become free of them.

Self-Psychology therapy –

Self

is the individual’s perception of

their experience and their self-es

-

teem. It focuses on the individ-

uals perceived relationship with

others based on differentiators

and boundaries. It believes that

those who choose self-destruc

-

tive behaviours have a weakness

at the core of their personalities.

By engaging in addictive be

-

haviours, they are trying to ll a

void in their self-esteem.

The right

professional

makes all the

difference

Where Psychotherapy

looks deep inside the individual

and can take an indeterminate

amount of time to root out the

cause and then create different

patterns in behaviour, cognitive

therapies focus on changing

the behaviour in the present.

The more modern, Cog-

nitive therapy focuses on what

is happening now and doesn’t

dive into your subconscious

mind or your childhood, it is

only concerned with what is go-

ing on right now.

“The alternative, “prob-

lem-based” therapies, such

as cognitive behavioral thera-

py, aim to reduce or eliminate

symptoms instead of exploring

the client’s deep-seated needs,

urges, and desires (McLeod,

2014). “As a result, the thera-

py sessions are scheduled for

a short period of time, follow a

set course like structure, occur

in both group and one on one

sessions.

Cognitive Therapies

Cognitive Behavioural Thera-

py courses – These 20 session

courses will help you under-

stand your behaviours and your

thought patterns to gain con-

trol over your mind and emo-

tions. It is a form of psycho-

therapy that focuses on how a

person’s thoughts, beliefs, and

attitudes affect their feelings

and behaviors. CBT focuses

on the thoughts and feelings

of the moment to change a

person’s mindset and thereby

affect their emotions at that

moment. It can give you the

weapons you need to combat

depression during the darkest

of times.

Dialectic Behavioural Thera-

py – Is a type of Cognitive Be-

havioural Therapy developed

in 1980 to treat borderline per-

sonality disorder. Dialectics is

based on the concept that ev-

erything is composed of oppo-

sites and change occurs when

there is a dialogue, an example

of this is my courtroom weap-

on, which attacks lies with truth.

This therapy helps you to live

in the moment, regulate emo-

tions, manage stress, and build

better relationships.

Mindfulness Therapy – This

8-week course marries mindful-

ness meditation and techniques

with interactive cognitive sub-

system theory which says our

mind has two modes to receive

and process data, a being

mode and a doing mode. It

helps to disconnect thoughts

from moods to liberate a per-

son from their negative thought

patterns and replace them with

positive thought patterns.

Systematic therapy – This ther-

apy is derived from the belief

we are all interconnected and

how we interact affects the in-

dividual. It is used in family and

couples therapy to understand

how the unit interacts, commu-

nicates, and behaves towards

each other to teach new com-

munication and behavioural

techniques. If your family is part

of the cause of your depres-

sion, consider this type of ther-

apy.

Supportive therapy – This

type of therapy is different

than most psychotherapies

which ask questions to help

the person nd the answers

for themselves. A supportive

therapist will inject their opin-

ions, advice, encouragement,

reassurance, and comfort when

needed. They still listen to the

person. However, they are ac-

tively helping the person by

telling them what they need

to do instead of allowing them

to gure it out for themselves.

This type of therapy is good for

people who are unable to care

for themselves or nd it hard to

think for themselves.

Cognitive therapies are

short term therapies using pos-

itive thinking and mindfulness

techniques in a course format.

These therapists are focused

on the present and changing

your thought patterns without

diving deep into the cause. It

provides a group of people the

tools (weapons) to win battles,

but they won’t help you win

the war. If you have clinical de-

pression, you still need to nd

someone willing to dive into

the cause and help you to un-

derstand how you got where

you are and how you can move

forward in the long run. A com-

bination of therapies and drugs

may be required to get you

battle ready.

Humanistic Therapies

Humanistic therapy believes

people can make choices to

develop to their maximum po-

tential. Unlike cognitive thera-

pies, Humanistic therapy focus-

es on the individual instead of a

group to dene the approach.

Cognitive therapies are a one

size ts all type therapy with set

course outline and worksheets.

Humanistic emphasizes posi-

tive behaviours and the abili-

ty of the individual to achieve

self-actualization through

self-exploration.

Client Centered Therapy – This

type of therapy let’s “clients”

tell their own stories at their own

pace in their own way. The ther

-

apist is there only to listen and

create a safe non-judgemental

environment for the individual to

explore the meaning for them

-

selves. It is believed that the

client knows more about them

-

selves than the therapist does so

they do not need the guidance

or wisdom of an expert.

Gestalt Therapy – This meth-

od helps clients to focus on

the now and understand what

is really happening rather than

what they perceive as occurring

based on their past experienc-

es. Clients do more than talk

about their past, they re-expe-

rience them through re-enact-

ment to understand what really

happened instead of what they

remember.

Existential Therapy – Therapists

help individuals nd meaning

and purpose in their lives to

end the fear of the unknown.

It believes you have free will to

determine your future and help

to make the choices with less

anxiety and more authenticity.

The rst weapon to take

into battle is the knowledge

that your mind and emotions

lie to you. That’s right, they lie.

You can’t trust them.

Crazy talk you say. Con-

sidering depression is sneaky

and attacks your emotions and

thoughts, like a demon whis-

pering in your ear, it can make

you do things you would not

do in saner happier moments.

I’m not saying depressed

people hear demons, unless

they have psychotic depres-

sion. What I’m saying is your

mind is feeding you lies by say-

ing, “You don’t matter.” “No

one cares about you.” “No

one would notice if you disap-

peared.” “You are worthless.”

“You can’t do anything right.”

… You get the point.

These lies can be backed

up with evidence from the out-

side world. Your brain says,

“No one wants you.” Then pro-

vides the evidence to back up

its claim, With evidence, it can

be easy to believe the lies so

you need the second weapon.

A journal. Write letters in

a journal about how you are

feeling and why. As you write

your thoughts will become less

jumbled and you will be able to

analyze them.

The third weapon, become

a lawyer. Your mind says, “No

one wants you.” And gives you

evidence to back up the lie.

What do you do?

You become a defense

lawyer. “What about…” You

Different types

of Tools

list the people who want you in

their lives to balance it against

the prosecution’s evidence.

You need to be honest and list

those you take for granted.

Then comes the cross and

the prosecution can be cruel.

“No one wants you because

you are always alone.”

Now it’s time to get real

and be brutally honest with

yourself. “I’m alone all the time

because I choose to be so I can

do the things I want to do with-

out interruption.” The key is to

be brutal with yourself during

cross to get to the truth.

When we are in self-pity

mode, we make “All” state-

ments and can’t see what is in

front of us because we aren’t

getting what we wanted.

For example, the prose-

cution says, “No one will ever

love you because you never

get asked out.” At this point

you have to be honest. Do you

really never get a date or do

the only ones asking not inter-

est you? Keep going back and

forth until you discover why you

are struggling to nd love.

Another weapon is distrac-

tion. You need to distract your

mind. Listen to audio books,

play upbeat music, work on a

project. Do something to occu-

py your mind.

Lists. As much as it pains

me to say this, gratitude and

Mood Kit

There is an app for That.

CBT Apps are available as tools to help you manage your moods.

Mindshift

afrmation lists work. They re-

mind you of all the good things

in your life when you can’t re-

member one good thing.

Afrmations balance the

scales by offsetting the lies with

truths. I’m not talking about

positive thinking falsehoods or

faking it ‘til you make it state-

ments. I mean truths. When you

are mentally strong and in a

good place make a list of truths

to reference when you need to.

Take inventory. One of the

ways depression will get you

is to remind you about what

you’ve lost or what you don’t

have anymore. Take stock of

what you do have, what you

own, your skills, your talents,

your achievements. Don’t think

about what you want – focus on

what you have.

Find your purpose. With-

out a purpose, a reason for

living, you can get caught in

the undertow and get dragged

down to where thoughts of sui-

cide live. You need to nd your

purpose and then make plans

to fulll that purpose.

Dream of tomorrow. This is

different than taking inventory.

This works when you get stuck

in the past and your present

situation will not get you out of

it. Dream of tomorrow. Some-

thing you can obtain by taking

action. Try to stay away from

things where you need another

person to make it a reality, like

getting married or getting your

dream job.

Think about your dream

vacation and then plan it. Re-

search it, nd out how much

it would cost, what Air BnB or

hotel would you choose, every-

thing. Save pictures to a Pinter-

est board. Pick something you

can get excited about and you

can achieve on your own.

Other weapons are: Call-

ing a friend. Going for a walk.

Go for a drive. Drawing. Watch

a comedy. Listen to a stand-

up comedian’s podcast. Clean

the house. Have a shower. Find

zoom meetups. Take an online

course. Create a vision board.

Read a book.

The key is to do some-

thing. Anything. Just lying

there in bed won’t help you get

better. If you know what your

purpose is, act on it.

During the pandemic feel-

ings of isolation have increased,

domestic violence is up, and

people are disconnected. This

is an environment depression

thrives in.

Call Your Local

Depression Helpline

It is important you work

with someone who is trained in

depression, who will listen to

you, ask questions, and strive

to understand where you are

coming from instead of some-

one who wants to tell you how

to live.

Avoid people who think

they have it all gured out and

an “if I can do it, you can do

it” philosophy. Many of those

who believe in a one size ts

all solution are unable to see

people as different from them-

selves and don’t understand

others need different solutions.

If someone is quick to give

you advice and slow to listen

to what you are actually going

through, move on. They are

incapable of hearing you and

don’t have the empathy to truly

understand you, your story, and

where you are on your journey.

Stay away from positive

thinking people who jump

down your throat when you

make a statement which they

deem negative and ing placat-

ing positive thinking statements

at you. These people only want

the happy positive you and are

not equipped to help the sad,

depressed you. Instead look to

those who have the skills and

training to truly help you.

Not everyone will be able

to help you. It is important you

don’t expect them to save you,

be there for you, or x you.

Only you can do that with guid-

ance from trained therapists

willing to ask questions and

listen to your story.

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Maple Ridge, BC

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Rose & Sunday Dinner

House cleaned, check. The

roast is in the oven, check. The

potatoes on the stove, check.

The cake is iced, the pudding’s

chilled, check. Buns. Oh no, I

forgot the buns.

“Alexis… Alexis…” My

voice gets louder as I scream

up the stairs. “ALEXIS!”

“Ya what do you want? I’m

busy.”

“Doing what?”

“None of your business.”

“It is my business. Forget

it. I need you to go and pick

up some dinner buns from the

store. Everyone will be here

soon.”

“Why does everyone have

to come every week?”

“Seriously? You’ve asked

that question every week since

you were fourteen and the an-

swer has always been the same.

Now get me the buns.”

“Yes M’am.” She salutes.

I hate it when she does that. I

don’t have time to discipline

her, I’ll just store it for later.

Now where was I? Buns, house,

roast, potatoes, buns, cake, and

pudding, drinks.

“Alexis… get ginger ale.”

I yell at her back as she leaves

the house.

“Moooom.” Isabella comes

bounding down the stairs. The

girl truly does bound like a rab-

bit or some kind of stair-bound-

ing kangaroo. Drives me nuts.

Turn it off

By Shannon Peel

The Novel #ThatsLife was written as a serial

series. Each Issue of APeeling will include a

chapter for you to enjoy.

“Yes, Isabella?”

“Isa, Mom it’s Isa.”

“I named you. It’s Isabella

and I’m not having this conver-

sation again. What?”

“Aiden is messing around

in my room.”

“Tell him to get out.”

“He won’t listen.”

No surprise there. That boy has

selective hearing.

“Tell him I have some

cookies here for him.”

“Cookies? Can I have

one?”

“And ruin your dinner and

your gure?” She glares at me.

I know that was an unfair

remark, still the girl would live

on junk food if I let her. It’s so

hard to get her to eat a healthy

meal. One day she told us she

was going to be a vegetarian.

More like a carbotarian. The

girl only ate bread and cheese,

mainly in the form of cheese

pizza. That didn’t last long be-

fore I sat her down with a good

healthy meal of meat, potatoes,

and vegetables. Wouldn’t let

her get up ‘til she ate it all. A

growing girl needs a healthy

meal.

“Isa said you had cook-

ies?”

“It’s Isabella, Aiden, and

yes, if you go help your father

with the lawn.”

Five Women

Navigating Life in

the 21st Century.

“Do I have to?”

“Yes you have to. Next

time, don’t bug your sister.

Now out you go. Your father

shouldn’t have to do it all on

his own anymore, you’re thir-

teen, plenty old enough to help

out. Hurry, everyone will be

here soon.”

“Is Davie coming?”

“Yes. I think so. He was at

his father’s last week, right? So

he’s here this week. Now off

you go or you won’t be playing

with Davie or getting any cook-

ies.”

With that he was out the

door to help Gus with the yard

work. Oh damn I should have

given the boy a beer to take

to his dad. Gus will be thirsty.

Beer? Oh no. I rush to the ga-

rage where there is another

fridge usually lled with beer

and wine. I forgot to check our

supplies.

“Hey honey, how’s the din-

ner coming?”

“Gus.”

He is pulling cases of beer

and bottles of wine out of the

car. He remembered.

“Let me help you.”

He bends down kisses me

on the cheek and then hands

me a couple bottles of wine. I

look up at him. My man. Tall.

Solid. My heart oods with joy

and I want to be in his arms.

That will have to wait. It’s Sun-

day and everyone will be here

soon. So much to do. Always so

much to do.

I love Sundays. Family

days. It is a lot of work having

everyone over here every week

to get caught up and recon-

nected and I love it. Since my

sisters moved my parents into

the city it’s the only way I get to

see them. Family is so import-

ant and the kids really need to

spend time with their grandpar-

ents before they are gone. Not

that it will be anytime soon,

mind you.